There Might Be a Book Coming Out

Madison Woods a lovely creature that I absolutely want to be when I grow up has a pet project going on. Since she began the Friday Fictioneers with a few writers some time ago she's had this idea to make a book of it. I could be wrong about it being since the beginning. Anyway. The book I guess is supposed to be either cheap or free. Don't ask I don't really remember.

So last minute I decided to contribute to this book I doubt that I even get into it but I sent in two stories. But let me explain the concept: The 100 X 100 project. Much like the Flash Friday Fictioneers, where she post the picture and writers everywhere write a 100 word story. The cap is at 100 stories. The beautiful thing about this is that we may cover the same subjects but we're all going to write something different. I love it.

Seeing as this is going into a book that I may or may not be featured in, I decided to post my two last minute contributions here.

Pic:

Day and Night

The difference between day and night creatures is just the dawn. But this night beast wasn’t going anywhere until he saw her. 

There, from the lining in the horizon she came, the child of light. She was his size but brighter, her glittering wings danced in the dawn mist. His own leathery wings even sang in the joy of her movements.

He rose to meet her. They stopped, floating inches apart.

“This will never work between us.” He moaned, shaking with need.

“But I found a way to be together.” She touched him then and this time, it didn’t hurt!

Ending The Night

Jon was really about to kill Dave for that crazy woman he introduced him to earlier in the evening. But Dave had a plan for her.

Dave pulled into the garage and killed the engine. The weight of the car dipping as they got out and settled on the trunk.

“Is there a reason we’re still out right now?” Jon fished a cigarette out from his jacket. 

“I just want to see the sun rise.” 

“I guess we’ll bury her later then?” Jon asked. The woman was still moaning from inside.

“Shhh watch the sun.” The woman moaned even louder.

I kind of like the hope that's built up in the first story Day and Night. But I'm feeling a little sinister today like in the second one.

I'll follow up when I have more information.

National Novel Writing Month

Clearly a Cut and paste, don't click it. Nothing will happen.

I formally sat down sometime in December 2011and did two things. One begin this blog and two seriously start putting together my book. I also found about this: NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month. A contest, sort of, to write 50,000 words in 30 days. Trust me, I lamented about missing this contest. I had my book fresh in my mind and all the optimism in the world author wise that I could have pulled this off.

Well it's almost a year later. I think I've got about a month or so to go before I cry in my cider or pop champagne about this blog. One thing is certain. I want to do this contest.

Granted I left up that horrible post about how much my life sucks. Something in me says that I need to do this just because I need to do it. So I got that feeling of exhiliration for a few hours today after signing up for it. Then I sat down in my office that I just decorated and began my 30 day book. BTW you can check out the actual website here. I'll even spell it out for you in case you can't click: http://www.nanowrimo.org/en 


I've decided to go with something a little close to home. Mostly about me, not pieces of me as in my other stories. This story is mostly me in all my crazy idiosyncrasies. The story is called Never Get Laid Again. You can imagine how awful this story might start. I'm not sure if this will become something sci-fi or if this will become chick-lit. I know for sure though that you'll either love or hate this character. I also know that I might take it personally if you don't love her because she is me. I'm hoping for a happy ending, one in which this fictional version of me actually get's laid, but you never know. I have 33 days until the 30th of November. A lot could happen.

In order for me to actually hit this 50,000 word goal I have to put down 1,667 words every day. That's not bad, at least I don't think so. The only thing that would seriously hinder me is the lack of positive thinking. I don't want to go that route, and you all three of you that still periodically check this blog are now charged with making sure I stay on this track.

You should join and be my buddy.

My Own Worst Enemy

Today I'm going to talk about what an absolute fail I am at life as an up and coming something. When I got out the Navy I was upbeat optimistic and honestly terrified at the prospect of starting over again. I was dealing with the fact that I had accepted that I am an alcoholic and also that I'm mentally not stable.  I was trying really hard to overcome all the things that made me slip so easily into that dark place that made me want to take my life.

I wish I could say to everyone that I've overcome all of that. Instead I've given up. I want to live, I'm not ready or willing to go down that path so easily, I'm just done trying to pretend that I can beat myself. I don't want to win, I don't even know what the competition is about.  I'm never going to school, I can't find a job, I'm no writer, I'm no book reviewer. I am a failure. It's time I stop pretending to be something I'm not.

I have no friends, I sit in my apartment, everyday. I'm not productive, I don't read, I don't write, I don't exercise. I made a cake to other day that was to say the least interesting. I ate the whole thing then cried about how fat I'm getting. I'm destroying myself, I'm rotting away inside and out. I don't want to see anyone because I'm too embarrassed at how disgusting a human creature I've become.

I stop caring about my future and I don't even have a lame excuse to fall back on. I normally say that I need to get back on my meds. Lets face it darlings, I've been off my medicine since forever. And there's no one else to blame for that but me. My last appointment was scheduled for Monday. I didn't go. There were "people" outside my door coming to get me. 

I can't face reality certain days. But I can function when it matters to me, like getting to the bar. I complain to the people I hang with at the bar, who BTW aren't my friends, about never getting laid. It's not because I hang out at gay bars. It's because I don't feel sexy. I don't feel safe and I don't want people getting close enough to me to see what a mess I am. I'm embarrassed of myself, I'm sure I've said that already.

I'm outright embarrassed about the person that's left. The talent vacated the premise a while ago and there's nothing left worth saving. I'm a sad clown. This isn't a rut, this isn't temporary, this is me. I will never aspire to be anything other than washed up. 

I am the waste of space I talk so lowly about. The only thing that separates me from the welfare biddies every republican complains about is my outright refusal to procreate. I'm black, obese, a woman, uneducated, lazy, and dependent on others to allow me to survive. I'm everything I hate and completely unwilling to change.

Did I mention I'm embarrassed to be me?

I am my own worst enemy because I hate myself but I'm too lazy and scared to rise above that. There's help out there for people like me. I just need to ask. But I'd rather take the slow spiral downward into faceless, windowless anonymity so that when I get there I can cry that everyone left and I can play the victim. God I hate myself. And from the looks of this hairdo it shows.

Book Review: You Suck by Christopher Moore, And Welcome Back.

You Suck by Christopher Moore

First,  I welcome every one back to the blog after more than a two week hiatus. Then, let me say that this book “You Suck” is a few years old. I’m saying this right now, I don’t want some left over fan to cry at me because they can’t find this book. Second I highly doubt you can’t find this book. I’ll post a link to this book and Mr. Moore’s web page so you can check out his current book Sacre Bleu. 

This is part two of a vampire trilogy that I have to say is rather inventive. I know I say inventive like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Well It might be. Knowing my penchant for vampires and hot nasty sex with vampires you readers should be disappointed when I admit that there’s no hot nasty vampire sex in this book.

Go ahead every one take a moment to come back to earth. The moment to mourn the lack of hot nasty vampire sex is now over. Instead put in your chuckle hat and get ready to chuckle.

If you read Blood Sucking Fiends, you be either happy or sad that the Animals are back and are they in a fix as well as all the other characters in this second installment. The book does have a different kind of chaotic going on here. And it’s pretty anti-climactic. 

We have a few new characters that are woven into the story and they each have their own back story that is very rich in character defect. So rich that you can’t help but love or hate them. Well done Mr. Moore, I hated the blue tinted hooker. 

Yeah there’s a blue tinted hooker in the story and though she gets down to some pretty terrible acts of depravity she does them before things get serious. 

Acts of depravity before things get serious? You must have not read anything by Christopher Moore. There is an entire level of absurdity, in each book this awesome writer creates that swallows them whole. It’s not sprinkled lightly like parsley or jimmies on ice cream. It’s like he took the idea for each story and marinated it in ridiculousness for a year before penning the thing. Then after a big glitter explosion you have another Christopher Moore masterpiece in cleverly arrange stranger than fiction events.

Take the Goth Pair. Miss Abbey Normal and her gay bestie. Abbey is positively challenged. There’s no such thing as a happy Goth, yet Abbey must make a conscious effort every day to not smile and fails miserably. She even checks herself in her journal which she keeps for posterity sake. Okay, what ever, Abbey. I find you tedious and I pity you in all your closet Hello Kitty pinkness. She has decided to devote herself to the art of being a minion to one of our main characters Flood in hopes of one day becoming a vampire herself. Keep dreaming sunshine.

Speaking of our main characters 489 words into this review. Flood and Jody are faced with new crisis as they both have to now find a way to survive, combat  the reemergence of Jody’s maker and stay under the radar from their two favorite detectives. In other words read Blood Sucking Fiends and when you finish, You Suck, you might as well got for gold and read Bite ME.

As usual I’m not going to tell you how the book ends unless the book sucks and I don’t wan to waste your time. I’m going to warn that you will laugh a little. If you don’t like this book then hey, feel free to email me and tell me I have no taste in fiction. I’m okay with that. Two Thumbs five stars and what ever other grading system is out there.

You Suck can be found on the web here for a moderate price. I'm sure it can be found other places but I only have to offer you one.

And for those of you that want to check out what other works by Christopher Moore you can peek at his author page.