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| By Rochelle Wisoff-Fields |
Toddy & Errol
“You can use spiderwebs over a gash, stops the bleeding.” Toddy said to Errol.
“Yeh, well who told you that bit Toddy?” Errol didn’t really care he just wanted Toddy to shut it.
“Nobody told me Errol.” Toddy heaved himself over a fallen log. These country walks never got easier.
“Well then, you don’t know if it’s true then do you?” Errol eyed the webs over head. He whipped around scratching Toddy on his fleshy arm. “There’s the web, gotta stop the bleeding, Toddy.”
“You’re a prat, Errol.” Toddy reached for the web. He’d kill Errol for that.
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Love these characters! Looking forward to more!
ReplyDeleteThank you, when ever I see the kids in my neighborhood playing I think of these guys.
DeleteGoodness me, not a lot of love lost there. I am wondering why they would spend time together. Lots of emotion in a short piece. Mine is here http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/friday-fictioneers-late-getting-home/
ReplyDeleteThese two are childhood mates, they've been through a lot. Thank you for your comment I'll be sure to check yours out.
DeleteGood characters, I like that. Makes me wonder what keeps them together?
ReplyDeleteNot a damn thing. Seriously I think the only reason they are friends is because they don't know anyone else. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteI could hear these boys and see the rumble coming. Errol better duck! Thanks for commenting on mine. You're very kind.
ReplyDeleteErrol is really asking for a beat down isn't he? Thank you for dropping by. I LOVED yours.
DeleteAdorable rowdy characters! Nice work!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much glad you like them. They might pop up again in the future.
DeleteI like your style. Easy to read with hidden depths. Looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteI like that, thank you.
DeleteThese guys crack me up--they remind me of my brother and me. ;-) BTW, let me know if you'd like some punctuation critique, privately, of course.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/tangled-webs/
I would love some help on that front thank you. Yeah these two are a little bit of my broth and me as well. I think I'm Toddy for some reason.
DeleteGlad I'm not walking with them. But as my husband would say, "It's a guy thing." :-) The dialogue is completely believable. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteMe too. I think they play too rough for me. Thank you for stopping by.
DeleteYup, boys -- there's always something to prove! But you know, I've read that about webs too, in fiction, and wonder if it's true? And if it is, who tried it first? I mean, really, who said, hey I'm bleeding, I think I'll shove some spiderweb on the cut? But that's a conversation for another story. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is true. I saw it first in a movie, then I read it some where. Before doing this story I looked it up and you can use it to stop bleeding and some infections. My question is, do you really want to go messing up a spider web? I mean there's a spider in it. thanks for stopping by.
DeleteI was waiting for him to knock his head against a tree or something, haha, glad he wasn't quite that brutal. But I have a feeling payback might be worse for poor Errol.
ReplyDeleteI haven't gotten that far yet. Next time there is a need for these two we'll see what Toddy does next. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteI quite liked the hidden depths to these characters, it felt like while there is more to know about them, you probably can tell all that you need to just from this brief exchange.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
http://chriswhitewrites.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-daughters-song/
Thank you for that. I'm off on the link you left in two shakes...
DeleteGreat characters in these two. Hope to see more of them!
ReplyDeleteWell we'll see the next time they pop up what they do. I like them too.
DeleteYou capture the boys in their element and in their moment. Tiny things taking stage, little blowups magnified, flashes of temper and bursts of anger. Well done.
ReplyDeleteAloha,
Doug
Doug I always love getting a comment from you. You always seem to put names to what I'm trying to show. Thank you for stopping by.
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