I may be loosing my mind a bit. Or at least my way.

Not to this degree but it's getting there.

I have been making an attempt to be productive in my extended and unwanted period of unemployment. I've taken up sewing, I've even become a container gardner, I've mastered certain dishes to the point that they now seem more old hat and less complicated. That does not change the three things: I'm still unemployed, I'm still not in school, and I'm not writing like I used to.

Two of those things were never part of the plan. But either way the longer I continue to be stagnant the more stuff I'll have to "do" to keep from being more of a burden and less of a person making do.

I'd like nothing  more to get back into doing book reviews. I thought they were helping my in my goal of getting know. They were to an extent but I wasn't getting any companies to pick me up as a reviewer. I must have been going about that the wrong way. The second point about doing the book reviews was the cost. As I mentioned a million times before. I am unemployed. The amount of money I  put toward this non-paying hobby was seriously dipping into what little money I do have. I had to find another way.

I did enjoy reviewing the books. I hope to start that up again when I have the finances in a more stable, less starving condition. I think probably go back down to the one a week. Those E-books while much more convenient and more profitable for the author were just killing me.

You know what else is sapping my motivation? Dating. I'm of course talking about my addiction to Okcupid.com. I recently changed my profile to the most negative way I can portray myself just to see if the dogs would leave me alone. They didn't. So I had to add this to my profile and for a while I got a little peace.

 

It wasn't particularly nice of me but I still don't care. I figured that there is really no reason for me to complain about being single because seriously if I wanted to date I'd be dating. I just like looking at the profiles. It's sort of like shoe shopping without having to actually try on the pair in question.

Getting back to the sewing. I like it and with the National City Swap Meet selling fabric for $1.50-$2.00 per yard I'm going okay. I seem to be getting better. Some time in december I started doing this so that I'd have clothes to wear to job interviews. These two blouses I managed to finish with out losing a substantial chunk of my finger. But I get a kind of satisfaction from completing a garment. My office somehow morphed into a work room but I think once the shine has worn off on this new skill I'll get my office back. 

As I said before creatively I'm pretty stagnant I don't like it. I wonder if there is something to it? Maybe I'm not serious about writing? Maybe I've been wasting my time. This whole year has been full of ups and downs and random crap that has nothing to do with being a writer. Maybe I just need some regimen that I can stick to. 

But enough of that. It's Monday and I have things to do. One being that I need to clean my work room. There's thread everywhere and at least two patterns still open and strewn about the floor. I'm pretty sure if I walk in there barefoot I'll step on a push-pin and I definitely have to unplug my iron.

Friday Fictioneer- Waiting at the Gates

You ever start thinking in your head all kinds of messy scenarios about why your flight is late? No well I do, and so do the neurotic people I make up in my head. With that in mind, let's see what this nameless wonder does when his/her flight is late.

Copyright Rich Voza

Waiting at the Gates

You notice anything odd about that plane? It’s blocking your  gate. All the other planes are coming and going across the corridor but this one is the only plane on your side. Should you say something? What if the other travelers already said something? It’s been over an hour. The airline should say something. Did some one move in the window? Go look, take a picture.

“Attention passengers gate A-19 is now closed. Please see your nearest guest representative for new gate assignment and flight information.”

There was some one in the window. Did anyone else see that?

Rochelle- and her wonderfully purple blog  she has going is the key to all the interestingly written Friday Fictioneer stories. Unless you don't like purple then you can just click here. I'd advise not to though because her story is great.

Friday Fictioneer - The Secret

This week we have some artwork submitted for our Photo Prompt. For about ten minute I stared and stared trying to figure out what it means. Then it dawns on me, there's my story. Please enjoy

Copyright Claire Fuller

The Secret

“How long are you going to stare at it?” Clarence's wife said as she passed his office.

“Until it talks to me.” He never waited this long to understand a sculpture. It was his work. This one had to have a meaning.

“What if it never does?” He didn’t want to think of that. He didn’t want to envision the rest of his life, waiting to understand the meaning of one person’s work. 

The secret had to be in the one splash of ink. The almost hastily scribbled heart, the second face. It was in there. It had to be.

Please check out the other Fictioneers at Rochelle's Wordpress blog or on the Facebook Page. 

Just a few things.

Over the Holiday Bestie and I decided that we were going kayaking. I've done this only once before and that was on the Saco River which crosses from Maine to New Hampshire and back. This time I tried my hand at the ocean and had way different results.

First off I'm not the easiest person to get along with and it amazes me that I have friends sometimes. This was not my best moment. I was loud I complained and I criticized my best friend unfairly. Like I said I'm not proud and I've had to eat some humble pie since for that. 

I scored some vouchers to explore the sea caves in La Jolla back in August and never used them. Well Bestie nagged and nagged and we went. We went through a brief but through training then waded into 53 degree F water and climbed into our boats. Pretty much from the minute we were sea bound I was a raging harpy out for blood.

Bestie has a slight to extreme fear of the ocean. Couple that with him doing something completely out of his comfort zone. He was scared silly but yours truly decided his inexperience was not an excuse for following directions. I was a very ugly person for about half the adventure.

He eventually got the hang of everything and we managed to enjoy the second half of the trip. Due to the choppiness of the water that day we weren't allowed to get very close to the caves, but we did get up close and very personal with a few Sea Lions and a pod of Dolphins. Nature I have to say rocks. We promised that we'd go again and with a few minor adjustments like the seating placement  we'll have a time that promises to be 1000 times better than the first.

Over all he says he had a good time, except for when I was being super beast. He likes to say that the days before my cycle comes around is the worst time and once again I decided that I just HAD to be around him at that time. If it weren't for my fabulous set of breast, I think I'd trade being a woman if it meant not chewing off heads every time I'm premenstrual.


Yesterday 1/3/13 was my 33rd birthday and I spent it at home quietly working on my blouse and shooting my resume out and scoring another interview. I heard from my Brother, Father and one Aunt. I got a bunch of hits on Facebook wishing me well. I even got a hit from my favorite author Ms. Gini Koch. I am in so much awe of her.  There was even a mention of a midget for my birthday, but I missed it by staying home.

While I'm job hunting I haven't been reading and once again the book reviews have been scrapped. I am very sad about that because I really enjoy doing the critique and I feel that all the work I've put into it this summer is falling apart. I'm sad about it but  I'm doing what's best for the moment. I hope that I find something soon so I can not worry about the money situation anymore and get back to what makes me happy.

The weekend begins and I plan on compiling a Bean Counter so come back and Monday and take a gander.

The New Year 2013

Well it is a brand new year and I have to say that I'm kind of curious as to what will happen.  I spent the night at home with my dog watching Numbers on Netflix. Sometime after 1 am I stepped outside to smoke my last cigarette of the night and the first one of the year, I saw one interesting thing. I saw an act of Chivalry.

I will admit that inside I have a little racist streak and once in a while I will judge a whole people by their misfits. It's the loose chickens and dogs and the rooster calls at all hours of the night that do it. You can chastise me for that later but this habit gives me a little distance from the fact that I live in a very bad area of San Diego. Couple this habit with my low opinion of today's youth and you have a very surprised Ms. Townes at 1 am.

While I was smoking my late night Camel and watching the cars do 80 in a 35 mile zone, I witnessed a young couple walking by. The girl was saying in spanish how cold she was. The boy stopped her across the street from me, gave her a quick kiss, took off his jacket and wrapped her in it. Huzzah gentleman DO exist in the world!

I like that I got to witness that moment, it makes me think that not all parents are just phoning in their duties to educate. Granted I don't know anything about these two kids, I'd like to think they are going to be alright. Once in a while I like to be reminded what optimism is.

You see, in that one act of gentlemanly kindness all of my stereotypes about the community I live in, fell away for that one moment. I felt lucky to have witnessed such intimacy. It had the makings of romance, the blossoming of young love and offered the promise of a solid foundation on which they would build their relationship. My inner romantic fool practically melted.

In the light of day I reflect that most likely the two of them went back to someone's home and had kinky New Years sex or something and we can all expect a little one some time in September but, as I said before once in a while I like to pretend that I'm an optimist. There's hope for the human race after all.