If anyone has ever seen the Labyrinth, you'll immediately recognize the potential of this photo like I did and just let your imagination run away. Please enjoy -The Right Way
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| Copyright- Joyce Johnson a Fellow Fictioneer |
Sara passed that same hideous face five times already. The only one in the Labyrinth that did not talk to her. It just cackled gleefully at her, the voice of it ringing in her ears. Its face permanently mocking her, taunting her while she tried to break free. It never actually moved, she just heard it, in her head.
She ran left this time, back tracking and ignoring the finger that pointed to the right. She ran, only to arrive back at the same finger and that same horrible face. Sarah sank to her knees. The laughing continued.
Very scary, very sinister. A good one and an original take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteNicely conveyed sense of the frustration and fear she felt.
ReplyDeleteIn the first sentence, you probably want "the fifth time Sarah had run past..." Or you could say "the fifth time Sarah had passed..." Different parts of speech.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I see what you mean . Thank you for the heads up, I'll go ahead and fix it. My Thanksgiving was awesome thank you. I hope yours was too.
DeleteAppropriately unsettling.
ReplyDeleteI like it!
Unsettling. I like that one, thank you for stopping by.
Delete"By the pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes." Sinister take on the prompt. I agree with Janet. Taking the passive out of the first sentence will strengthen the story.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back Atiya. Missed you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. It should be fixed by now.
DeleteHi Atiya,
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I hear laughter in my head. This is a scary little story with spooky and mysterious danger lurking. Ron
I think once in a while we all hear laughter in our heads. Thanks Ron for coming by.
Deletewell done miss.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThat laughing face gave me the creeps too. You definitely crafted a fitting story for it.
ReplyDeleteYeah the face is kind of creepy. If I were Sarah I think I'd be throwing something at the face by now. It wouldn't do anything but I'm sure I'd feel better for a moment.
DeleteVery nice
ReplyDeleteThanks
DeletePoor Sarah... I felt her despair. Liked the line 'she just heard it, in her head'... that was good.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you wonder if the laughing is real, doesn't it? Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteOh, how creepy to hear the laughing in her head. Interesting, too, that there were others that talked. Very imaginative. Well done!
ReplyDeleteCreepy is the word I'd use too. Oh, those mind games. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like this was inspired by a real-life nightmare--good story.
ReplyDeleteDear Atiya,
ReplyDeleteA bad end for anyone. This theme seems to be almost jungian in the way it keeps cropping up in these stories. The prompt was devilishly hard this week but your story more than met its challenge.
Aloha,
Doug