We've got a cool challenge this week with what looks like some kind of festival in a park. And from that I have to say kiddies I could only cut this one dow to 103 words. I was on a roll before I quit. Anyway I hope you enjoy.
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| Sunglasses - by Ted Strutz |
Bailey’s head was pounding, again she revisited the scene looking for a clue about her missing brother. Normally, her ability to see back in time was easy. This time she felt like a boulder was slowly crushing her skull. There was searing piercing horrible pain.
She focused again, first at her and her brother, then at everyone else. The woman just off the center, seemed to stare right at her. Could she see her? The pain in her head increased. The woman just faded into thin air!
“HOW?” Bailey screamed, blood dripping from her nose. “GIVE HIM BACK.” She passed out cold, exhausted.
Check out the other Fictioneers in the Blog Hop on this inlinks thingie. You can also contribute your own 100 words using the same link. You can peep the Facebook page too, there's some other information on it that might interest you.
Very, very scary. Well done Atiyah, I'd like to read more of this.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for that. I'd love to do more on this character as well. Sadly I started NaNoWriMo so I might not come up for anything for bit.
DeleteGlad to see you back, Atiya. I've missed you. Very spooky story. Well written.
ReplyDeleteI've missed you too. Looking forward to doing more. Thanks for dropping in.
DeleteWow, Bailey's having a bit of a rough time there. Very spooky, and highly imaginative - good take!
ReplyDeleteThis picture was rough on me! Thanks for the vote on confidence.
DeleteCool! More please.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteNice sci-fi/fantasy touch here. This reads like the beginning to a longer piece--I hope!
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/a-ghosts-tale/
I hope to get the chance to see Bailey again too. One of these days. Thanks for dropping by and leaving your link. I love links.
DeleteYou pumped some actions into this...would love to know where this is coming from and wher it will end. Applause!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Atiya,
ReplyDeleteGreat scene, good setup, nice finish. Horrible ending to urgent chase tale. Well told. I mistyped my link in the list. Here's the real deal: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpresss.com Ron
Excellent, I'll give it a look. Thanks for the great comment. Have a great weekend.
DeleteVery interesting, leaves me wanting more. I especially liked the possibility that someone in the original scene seemed to see Bailey! Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I don't think the woman who saw her meant to be seen herself.
DeleteVery well done! This reminded me of Source Code, though this one is way better!
ReplyDeleteI can see where you would get that. I just saw that movie last month for the first time. I liked it. But for this Bailey isn't really there and she can't do anything. Thanks for reading.
DeleteDear Atiya,
ReplyDeleteNice and dark foray into the possible. Our minds are mysteries and you have illustrated well the realms that some may be able to explore with theirs. Well done/
Aloha,
Doug
Definitely feels like a piece of something much larger. I want to hear more. You have wet my appetite. I can't wait till you come back after NanoWrimo and work some more with Bailey.
ReplyDeleteChilling and spooky mystery re. Bailey'[s mind. How does she sort everything out? Guess we will have to wait til NanoWrimo is over (which alone is a huge task) Good luck with it.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell! That was a story in 103 words... well done, I could feel Bailey's pain and desperation.
ReplyDelete