I've got "Hope" at exactly 100 words. Over on Facebook I took one look at this picture and immediately said something about fairies. Well that might happen. And then I might win the lottery too. You may never know I might come back and do a second one before Friday...
Please give some credit to Janet Webb for this picture. Trust me when I say this picture is Trashy Mass Produced Romance Novel worthy. There has to be a story behind it.
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| Copyright Janet Webb |
“Sweet swirling onion rings, it’s disgusting.” Andrew said as the building came into view. The ramshackle roof was partially collapsed. There would be months of work to do here.
“But look at it! This place is magical!” Steph practically sang.
“A magical mess. What possesd you to buy this place?”
“He told me to.” Steph sounded infinitely sad, as she did every time “He” was mentioned.
“Steph, you need to let Tim go. Baby, he’s gone, he’s never coming back no matter how much he loved you.”
Steph waved the thought away. “We can be together here. He told me.”
Dear Atiya,
ReplyDeleteThat ending line sounds a bit ominous. I have to wonder how Steph and Tim are going to be together.
Well written...with one typo alert. I think you mean collapsed, not collasped.
shalom,
Rochelle
And I fixed it. Good save, thanks. The ending isn't too bad if you think about it.If we want to be optimistic, Tim may have in fact found a way. I'm not sure about Andrew's place in this home but it could be a good thing....
Deleteomg, that ending freaked me out. great twist on the story! well done
ReplyDeleteWell thanks. I wan't going for that, but I'm seeing why readers would think that. It is a little freaky.
DeleteYes, sounds like there is much more story to be told here!
ReplyDeleteCould be, thanks for reading.
DeleteNice piece, well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandra
DeleteI was wondering the same thing as Rochelle. I think his days are numbered.
ReplyDeleteAs for this, "Trust me when I say this picture is Trashy Mass Produced Romance Novel worthy," I'll assume that's a compliment, although since there are no scantily-clad people in the picture, I'm not sure it's true. :-) The story is simply one of stopping at a hand-made chocolate shop while driving our older daughter back home, spotting this barn next door and taking a picture that, yes, I sent to Madison "back in the day", thinking it a perfect Fictioneer shot. I'm pretty sure I saw a zombie or two lurking, but I didn't go that way. Glad you liked it!
janet
Definitely a compliment. Most of the TMPRN's that I read don't feature scantily-clad people on it. Some of my favorite authors never put a person on the cover at all. I guess there is some kind of formula certain period romance writers use, where by not putting a half naked man on the cover actually makes the book better.
DeleteAt least I've been trained to think that.
Speaking of chocolate there is something on Pinterest I just came across. You start with the creme sided piece of an Oreo, put a Peanut Butter cup on top of that, then another creme sided Oreo piece to top. Dip the entire sinful creation on warm milk chocolate then add some sprinkles.
Aah! I wondered too about that description.
DeleteInteresting story :-)
Thank you. I didn't mean to throw anyone off by that.
DeleteI like it. One thing I saw you have though instead of thought in the last line and I think you meant thought.
ReplyDeleteFIXED! Thanks for catching that.
Deletethree people in a relationship made for two.... This could get ugly
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you caught that.
DeleteThis hints on paranormal... and promises of infidelity. A very intriguing cocktail of emotions and drama I must say.
ReplyDeleteWell layered! Nice work
Or, maybe Andrew killed Tim and is still trying to figure a way into Steph's heart. Oh the Scandal. Thanks for coming by. I had not really thought much further into the story until you commented. I figured Andrew as just a friend but, yes oh yes the layers. Good call.
DeleteI like the subtle creepiness at the end. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/death-throes/
"subtle creepiness" I like that. Thanks Maggie.
DeleteYou had me at: “Sweet swirling onion rings, it’s disgusting.” Quite an attention grabber!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I didn't want to swear and that is what came to mind. It also makes Andrew seem a little... I don't want to say weak or lazy, but something having to do with him not wanting to get his hands dirty. That was the point, but yes it is definitely an opening line. Thank you.
DeleteSounds like the beginning of a Hitchcock movie... I think this will end bad
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DeleteI like the take you have on this pic, fairies or not. There is magick in memories, and there are memories in this write (at least for Steph).
ReplyDeleteIt will end bad for Andrew. He seems very confident in his place by Steph's side for the moment. I think any changes having to do with Tim might mess all that up for him.
DeleteAt least "he"is saying the right thing now, huh? Nice story. Hard to let go sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAndrew could be telling the truth. If Tim is gone despite his love, there's not really much anyone can do to bring him back. At least that i what the surface of things say.
Delete"Sweet swirling onion rings" This is my new favorite saying! Great post.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I stole the saying from an ex of mine years ago. It sort of seemed like the right thing to say.
DeleteNice. So many possible interpretations. It can go melancholy (if Tim is dead, which he doesn't seem to be); just sad (she dotes on the bastage that left her); or creepy (stalker time!).
ReplyDeleteI feel like Tim is gone against his wishes here. Steph and Andrew agree that he did love her. Andrew of course wants her to move on. It can still go creepy since Tim seems to be communicating with Steph somehow that isn't supposed to be possible to Tim.
DeleteThis really is open for interpretation, a lot of story bursting out either side of this, which I agree would be interesting to go further with. A spooky story with a romantic side, or something scarier, could be extended to great effect!
ReplyDeleteIf I had the motivation to write right now I would agree. I'd have to lean toward something scary. I feel like the tone is leaning that way. But I like how this appears open. Thanks for reading.
DeleteGreat story :)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDelete