Bean Counter: Fourth of July Edition

To fully express how this week went I decided to move this week's Bean Counter further out. Welcome to Saturday.






Went To an Independence Day Party. +10

Had no idea who the host of the party was. -5

Drank too much Margarita. -5

Froze my ass off on an unfinished deck to watch the Fireworks.-10

Three shows that were supposed to be synchronized all simultaneously malfunctioned. +19

It was pretty as heck though. +21

Found out my FASFA app was denied due to my transcripts not being submitted. I swore I took care of that. -50

Took a death test on Ok Cupid. See the following:

Dead At 72

From Cancer

Find out when and why you'll die, take The Death Test!

 +50 at least it gives me time....

Ran out of clean laundry and seriously I'm wearing my bathing suit under my clothes. -12


Found out that my super expensive flea and tick medicine for Chewy isn't really that expensive. +25 Winning!!!!


Realized my poor SweetyPie Chewy has been suffering needlessly for months because I'm a bad mom. -29 Not winning


Entertained the idea of getting a student loan to cover the first three months of school until the GI Bill kicks in. -/+ If it must be done it must be done


Mom will be here in 11 days and the house is no where near clean enough. -100


Met an editor on OKCupid. I pissed him off royally, then found out that he loves Sci-Fi. Am I insane???? -1


Finally got ahead of my phone bill. +39


Decided to dump the wine. Then I drank it. What is wrong with me? Must be that insane thing again. -4


Saw a roach crawl across my television. I hate roaches, but you know what kills roaches, BLEACH and you can bet I sprayed the hell out of it. -10 for the roach +20 for having bleach on hand to kill it.


Finally saw Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter +15


Hated it so much I want to vlog it. -10


This week= -37 wow that sucks ass.


Last week 93


So what's my status? 56, Meh it could be worse.

Catch Me Up Yo...

I've been a very busy girl.


The place is finally RFKAO free so I've been doing a bunch of things here and there to make this place completely inhabitable. For yours truly of course. I entertained the idea of getting another roommate, but then I like living by myself way too much.


I've also been getting ahead of myself with the book reviews. I'm two weeks ahead thanks to the last three wonderfully awesome books. So since I've pretty much gotten a week off I figured I'd tackle some rather important things.


My GI Bill where do I start? It always seems way easier when you're in the service to get things done because there are people who's sole job is to run paperwork for every one else. God I miss those people. When I was on board the ships I never appreciated them. I could totally use one now.


But alas I went up to school to hand them some random form and they sent me on a wild goose chase across Down Town San Diego. Good thing I had my comfy sandals on. I think I would have given up if I hadn't. I feel positive though that I'll get everything squared away with plenty of time to spare before school starts.


Mother is coming to town at the end of July and frankly the idea scares me. I love her to death, however when we seem to be in the same room for long periods of time, I just want to bite her face off. My good friend thinks I need a hobby. He may be right. Mom has given me a tentative itinerary for her time with me and it involves a lot of road tripping. I think I'm going to have to pass on some of that. I don't know how well my Chewy travels and I can't afford a kennel for him. May be I should take up some meditation or something.


The job hunt has continued, the approach to it has changed though. Since I stopped working for the agency last Monday there's been a need to find a summer job and quickly. What I realized today is that I'm not the only one looking for a summer job AND that just sucks. But my rent is paid all the way to September so I guess I'm not in that much of a hurry. 




I wish I could say that I've been busy working on the book. That isn't the case. All the notes on the massively clever chapter seven are still in note and voice recording phase. I'm actually glad I took the time to record it because I think I'd be stuck otherwise.  But I'd rather have notes than nothing at all. I wonder how much should I devote to it? Am I cheating myself if I just throw something there and play catch up? What a crook!!! Never skimp on the book. If there is time, WRITE. If there isn't time, take notes. Never just throw something together. Who'd buy something just thrown together? Not after the books I've been reading lately.


I wonder about the discipline these writers have. Clearly I lack it and I need to find it quick. Especially as I form the rest of the story. Especially as I plan more and more of what I want to show as the NEXT Great American Novel. (That sounded so romantically cheesy I even gagged a little) I'll ask them. Since I've started telling the authors that I've checking out their book some of them have been really good about opening a dialogue with me. Pretty Fucking cool right?


Maybe now is a good time to cut out the Internet dating and take care of me. I thought I was, but I wasn't. Besides if I really wanted to date I'd pick better guys, not the losers I've been encountering. I don't want to divide myself anymore that I need to and trolling dating sites, believe it or not ,takes up a lot of time. 


Until next time - Your Fly is open.

Happy Hump Day

Well It's hump day again and this week Ms. Townes has a cold. Not good for business so you can guess I didn't work this morning. I did talk to Nurse Mom today, her only compliant is her hair is too long. You have to hear her: "Oh I hate my hair. It is soo long I can't curl it anymore. It gets in everything and I just can't stand it."

Really Mom? Ma do me a favor and come at me with a real complaint. Really I'm all smiles for her. 

What is so great about my mom is that she's like the best girlfriend I could ever have. Of course when she goes all mommy on me it's a whole different ball of wax, but for the most part she is great. I kind of pity anyone who doesn't have a friendly relationship with their mothers. I wonder why that is, let's ask Google.

The first article Google offers is from Reader's Digest's Stealth Health. (Click here for the whole article.) The title was 14 Ways to Have Healthy Relationships with Your Parents. Of course I'm looking particularly for relationships with your mom but hey it piqued my interest. I like number three: 3. Keep your sense of humor. When you’re dealing 

with your parents, laughter can be a lifesaver — both to help 

you handle the stress of dealing with sometimes crotchety 

individuals and to help you bond together. Tell a few jokes 

you know they’ll enjoy, share some comics from the paper or 

e-mail with them, watch the Letterman show together. If you 

can laugh together, you’re doing okay.

So I immediately want to call every parental unit I have,  just 

to tell this a really cheesy joke. I called my Dad, no answer, 

Step Mom, no answer, Uncle, no answer. Darn it was a really

good joke. I can't call Mom again because I already gave her 

an hour of my time. I should have done it then. Further down in the article it says something along the lines of not spending 

every waking minute talking to them. Clearly as much as I 

want to test this joke on someone, I know calling here would 

probably be... needy, stalker, I don't know- freakishly 

dependent???

I'm drinking some lemonade right now that is so good I have to tell you about it. 

Hurbert's Mango Lemonade. Like 

pouring glory down your gullet. 

And no I didn't get paid to say that. I 

wish, but really I was thirsty and this was 

in the fridge.

Anyway since Oprah pretty much rules 

the world I had to find out what she has to say about having a 

good relationship with your mother. OMoms -(eghads Oprah 

has everything) click here- has this article on the super 

longish side discussing boundaries, blah blah blah. I didn't 

read the whole thing just because its done as an interview 

between three people and my attention span is like that of a 

gold fish today.

The Article does hit on the pros and cons of technology in a 

mother daughter relationship. It also talks about how the 

relationship can change according to economy. Both of which 

I've had personal experiences. I have moved back in with my 

mother twice I think. And recently she did help out with 

getting me and RFKAO settled into the  new place.  Thank 

God I can pay her back. I refuse to let money change or 

relationship. By her riding rescue on my latest mishap only 

reinforces the role of parent for her when I'm more than 

grown. By my re-paying her I bring back the balance. Now 

getting her to accept the money will be a chore but totally 

worth it.

Technology, I've mentioned earlier is a little harder to 

finagle.  I love Facebook. I love the concept of the Social Network. Mom on the other hand is a little old school. Social 

Networking allows you 24 hour access to everyone all the 

time. She doesn't believe in that. I know where she is coming 

from, there really is no need to know that 

PowderPuffPinkDangerRanger45 can't sleep. But as 

remarked in OMoms: It can be a very good experience. It's another opportunity to mentor and coach your daughter. But again, it only works if you welcome them back as adults and not as children. So you're not telling them what to do, but [rather] you're providing them with opportunities to do more for themselves and manage their lives. 

Maintain healthy boundaries, and [make sure] that your daughter feels that, incrementally, she's able to become more and more self-sufficient.

Back to them boundaries again. I guess from these two articles I get two things. Mom and I are still growing and changing with the times. As long as we continue to change and never sty stagnant the relationship will thrive. 

Also I need to see her not as an equal because we never were, but something close to it. And so must she. The line is there and as long as we don't cross it we'll be fine.

Of course now that I have the authority from Reader's Digest and (spasm help me) Oprah, I wonder if my relationship with Nurse Mom is a healthy one.  Of course I see all kinds of flaws with it. Holy shite and muffins it's not perfect. I'm thinking trips back to Boston to have family  therapy sessions.

Grab the Atarax I feel an anxiety attack coming on. Does Nurse Mom think our relationship is flawed? Should I call her and tell her Oprah thinks the relationship needs improvement? But if I call her then Reader's Digest will get me for seeking approval from her. What do I do?

I finish this entry and get RFKAO to walk my dog with me, so we can smoke and pick up Chewy's poop at the same time.

Oh btw here's the joke:

Me: I know how to put an elephant in a Safeway bag?

You: How do you do that?

Me: Well, you take the F out of Safe, and the F out of Way.

You: There's no F in Way...

Me: (>_<)

Courtesy of Mr. Sulu aka George Takei.




Added Later. The LA Times just happened to post this article. Click here... I can call her!!!

Don't Answer the Phone

Today since it rained buckets of cold suck, I decided to write. Great thing that I'm able to do this especially since it's all about evil chapter six. Funny thing that the VA actually came through and now that I have a little more focus back I can now do this. So anyway I told Occupy the plan and said if the phone rings and it's my mom don;t answer it.  I'm going to go write and I can't be interrupted. I even put on my big noise canceling head phones to make a point.


Occupy never answers the phone. Part because I'm always logged on and working and partly because there is really no reason for him to do so.


Mom calls from some unknown number. Of course he picks it up, now I have to explain to her why a man of whom she has no knowledge of is picking up my phone. For reasons I'm not going to get into right now, this is going to be a difficult thing to talk about with her.


After a very awkward "I'm just returning your call, I can tell your busy," statement from Mommy Dearest, I have to wonder what she thinks is going on here in rainy San Diego while she is across the country back east? I can assure you that the show at Ms. Townes' house is g rated when I'm not on the phones working. But to explain that to mom, might be a little hard to do convincingly.


Fast forward to about 9PM when my oldest brother calls. Yay! Me for having a family that cares. Once again I have my headphones on and blasting while I type away at chapter six. I'm actually making progress. My fingers dance over the keyboards with sure strokes of pure American genius. then I get that awful tap on my shoulder.


My oldest brother, since I don;t take him very seriously, gets put on speaker so Occupy can here him scream who the heck was that answering the phone.  Sure telling my brother why I have a guest no big deal. Telling my mother, super big deal. Why, I don't know.


Regardless I managed to stop thinking and preaching about chapter six and finally wrote it down. Once again I am a little stuck but at least I have moved from the spot where I was stuck before. Nothing a night of good sleep won't cure.

Be well people.

How Dark are the Shadows?

Back in the early 90's my family was big into watching TV together. Mom of course picked the show we watched and none of us complained. Mostly because she picked good shows, not because she was the BOSS. It was not a planned "let's make popcorn and snuggle" moment. it was more like Mom would grab the remote, sit in the most comfy seat in the family room and turn on the TV. We'd sort of gravitate there from our own little worlds and sit on the floor or the bed or where ever and end up watching the show with her.

1991 Cast

We held mini-series in super high regard. Anyone remember the original V (I do) Jesus of Nazareth (been there) Thornbirds (done that) there's more but I can't remember. I do remember Dark Shadows.


Over on Google+ someone dated themselves and brought the show back from obscurity. To be fair Tim Burton is making Dark Shadows a movie, due out in May. Dark Shadows: CHANGED. MY. LIFE


Mommy Dearest was so psyched that they made a mini-series off the original show, that she, and I'm totally making this up, got cable to watch it on the then Sci-Fi Channel.  Honestly I have no idea why she got cable. But that's not the point. The point is that we'd watch the "new" Dark Shadows every Thursday on one of the big three channels(CBS, ABC, NBC), then come summer time we'd get a stern talking to if we were home and forgot to record the old Dark Shadows, that came on daily at 11am. Darn you Sci-Fi Channel.

1966 Cast

Of course I want to call Mom and tell her the news. I obviously humble about this and demand she thank me in advance for what I'm about to tell her. It goes like this:


"Mom I'm about to make your day. Now say thank you. "(She humors me and thanks me)
"Ready to relive your childhood? Hold your breath."
"Why?"
"Just hold your breath." She doesn't.
"They are making Dark Shadows a movie." She gasps.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Really."
"But, why?"


I wish I could tell you but who cares.

The New New Dark Shadows

The movie promises to be good. If I ever go out to a movie again, instead of waiting for it to show up on iTunes, I might review it. It has a serious cast. Clearly Tim Burton means business here. Dude, it has Michelle Pfiefer, obviously Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, also a bunch of other great actors and actresses. I heard on the Dark Shadows fan page that they even  managed to get some of the original cast to make appearances in the movie.  I kind of can't wait to see this.


Sadly I have to log on to work the phones so I don't have time to link the fan page to this post. I will have to get to that another time and do some editing. But for those people who just have to make a comparison here's Johnny Depp vs. Jonathan Frid, who makes a better Barnabus Collins???