Things That should Never Happen in the Same 48 Hours

Taken from IMdB

The last two days have been rather interesting for me. They may not be very significant to you or anyone else but I think they should not have occurred while I was aware. We could call them a Series of Unfortunate Events. Or we could just say the last 48 hours and be done with them.

Let's start with 12/12/12 and the over abundance of Facebook messages stating that the end of the world was at hand. Come on people, if the End was at hand do you think I'd have time to troll Facebook? Negative Ghost Rider, I'd be screaming bloody murder and huddling in a corner with my dog. Fact: I really would be huddling with my dog because, what else would I be doing?

Speaking of dogs, right before I headed out with my Best Friend to do some serious grocery shopping, some ass clown hit one outside my house. Anyone who follows me on Google+, Twitter or the infamous Facebook will know that there is more than a slight problem with the stray dogs in my neighborhood. There's also something with everyone owning chickens and roosters but that's another issue all together. 

A dog that looked to be some Malti-Poo or Bichon Frise mix was hit in front of my apartment the other night and Animal Control had to be called. I'm sort of familiar with this little one so I was pretty sad that it was now suffering. My neighbor an Army Medic, assessed it and pretty much listed it's injuries as: a shattered pelvis, one broken leg, a couple cracked ribs, one or two head injuries, possibly some internal bleeding. The driver never even stopped. 

What pissed me off is that the owner of the dog arrived right around the time Animal Control did. They said that the dog "Toby" escapes every time they leave the house. Are we serious? You know this is going to happen and yet you do nothing to prevent it? We were very angry over that statement and did not feel bad when Animal Control offered to euthanized Toby right there on the spot. The four of us (my two neighbors, my BF and myself) felt that Toby's owners were beyond irresponsible.

The next day finds me stuck in the house all day trying out my new medicine. It makes me so sleepy that I miss a super important call regarding a job interview, another super important call regarding the guy who stole my check back in June and my appointment to donate plasma. Anxiety medicine is supposed to calm me down, not put me out. Now, awake at 2:30 in the morning, the earth began to shake.

Which brings me to, this morning Earthquakes, yes I said quakes as in plural, meaning more than one. In fact, there were two somewhere off the coast that were 6.1 and 6.4 in magnitude. Nothing could make me more homesick for Japan than an earthquake. But not this time and of course since no one would be awake at 2:36 am I figured it was safe to get on Facebook and post about it. I was wrong there were a few and from them, I learned that San Onofre was built to only withstand a magnitude of 7.0 Earthquake. Great, what in the world is San Onofre? 

From Wikipedia

San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station. I looked it up. Methinks back to March 2011 when the Plant in Tomadachi, Japan went into melt down. All hell is breaking loose in my brain. Good thing I'm on the worlds greatest anxiety drug, I can sleep right through it. Which is exactly what I do after reading all about how jacked up San Onofre is on Wikipedia. Hey, the meds throw me off...

Which is why at roughly 12:45 this afternoon I wake up again to Facebook all atwitter with people saying how saddened they are by what happened in Connecticut. What happened in CT? My dad lives there and I'm a little concerned.

Well I'm sure you know now that someone open fired at a school killing defenseless people, mostly children under the age of ten. This is very bad, but whats worse is the fact that the media is glamorizing it. I'm not going to talk about the gunman, or the President's reaction or putting our nation's flag at half mast. I'm not going to contribute to the hysteria surrounding this terrible event. I'm going to say it is a sad day, a terribly sad day and keep moving. And here's why:

Right here is where I'm supposed to have a youtube video about why 24 hours of constant coverage about a mass killer only glorifies the gunman into some kind of antihero. The video I wanted to play here is not loading so sorry kiddies no youtube insight here.

My day is not ever and I know that something somewhere will make this day even more perplexing. Ah yes... Okcupid.com is doing a 12 matches of Christmas thing. Whatever happened to just enjoying the Holidays because it's the Holiday's????

The Bean Counter: Strictly the news this time, because the news is funny.

Quite Possibly the Greatest News OF ALL TIME: Jersey Shore is going off the air. +200

Pakistan is gearing up for another round of hate crimes. Starting off with framing a 13 year old retarded girl for Blaspheming. A man of a different religious background was seen putting pages of the Qur'an into her burn bag. Then he ratted the girl out so that she'd be put to death and her people would move away. I'm pretty sure at 13 girls blaspheme all the time in Pakistan (yeah if they have a death wish). Throw in the retard part and she's bound to be burned at the stake. -25

The Class of 1973 in some back water town decided that their 2012 reunion was open to all graduates except at one party where it was whites only. A few people bold enough to broach that taboo subject actually claimed it was justified because and I quote, "Blacks have the NAACP and BET. If they want to be segregated, why can't we have a whites only party?" Yeah well, we DO have all that and more. I'm pretty sure though we never told the rest of the the world they couldn't watch, contribute or participate. Ya'll get out from 'round here now... -40


Clint Eastwood goes all Dirty Harry on us at the RNC when he sticks it to the MAN. Really he just talks to an empty chair and tells himself to do unspeakable things to himself and Mitt Romney???? +10 for the unspeakable acts and -15 millions of responsible adults cheering on an old man talking to an empty chair.

Speaking of Republic National Convention Bill Maher gets a little impassioned about things when he makes this startling observation.

+45 Oh Bill Maher...

And while the fate of the country if not the world hangs in the balance of good and evil, Seal publicly tells soon to be ex wife Heidi Klume to stop sleeping with the help. Puts little blaspheming retarded girls and Dirt Harry's empty chair into perspective doesn't it. Why is this news??? -17

Then a Naked Prince Harry gets spotted in Las Vegas in a private dwelling or private club or some place PRIVATE. Dude it's Vegas it was bound to happen one day. I'm not even going to support a link for it. And you know why. Because I don't care. +5 You stay classy Harry.

But that's all on Earth, my new favorite nerd-gasm waiting to happen, the Rover Curiosity hopefully stopped all that music nonsense from last week and began moving again. The rover is off to see the wizard, or really some rocks off in the distance. The Engineers (the ones with the really BIG pocket protectors) have been playing with the America's most expensive remote control car and have finally picked a destination. +50

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff: Yeah So Doctor Who Premiered in the US yesterday (Saturday) and guess who did not get to see it. This Geek FAN. You got it, yeah the Dog Log can't afford cable so I have to wait for Netflix. -40

Then to make matters worse the latest Doctor, a Matt Smith basically said that he might not do it anymore. You pansy. You would say this after millions watch the premier last night. -27

Back in the real world, more specifically, home in Boston, politics gets SUPER dirty when Scott Brown throws up a website calling Elizabeth Warren a "fake indian" and more. Now I'm not a big fan of her either but I'm not going to waste tax payers money to shame her just because.  What a freaking waste -19

Who said Boston was stuffy? See, we get nasty like everyone else. +5??? 

Speaking of dirty. How this is a good thing, I have no idea, but a creature I've only heard of and have never seen washed up on the shores of Mississippi in the aftermath of Isaac by the hundreds. What ever a nutria is people are actually glad to see them dead. Something about eroding the marshlands. Grossness but YAY!?!? +14

-70 Because a dead carcass still smells like well, dead things.

So how is the state of the world today? I'm going with 70 since I can't do math very well. At least it's not a +3 like last issue of the Bean Counter.

Polish Dentist, Ashton Kutcher and Shia LaBeouf: The Bean Counter

Last Week's Tally 105






Polish Dentist extracts ALL her cheating ex-boyfriend's teeth. Once again proving that hell hath no fury like a dentist scorned.  -50


Getting called a class act for laughing at the victim's misfortune. +50


Seen the best celebrity parody of Shia LaBeouf ever click here +100


RFKAO now sells vacuums, personally I think the job already sucks. -10






Ashton Kutcher is looking to date again. Ask me how I know this? I saw the video of it on Girl's Got Shine (awesome Blog btw) see that on youtube, here  +13


 My home girl from High School, Michelle posted this wonderful (it's funny because it's true) statement on Facebook. +13

The bathroom in this awesomely awesome apartment is appearently haunted. Only because the toliet overflowed on Tuesday, then the sink started leaking. -75


That I can fix it with some teflon tape and a video from this old house. + 20


That I don't have permission to fix it. -35


Greatest example of not proof reading your work: The, The Impotence of proofreading your work. Thanks to @Ren_Thompson on Twitter +30


The Flash Fiction came out earlier and my story is all ready done for it. 126 words that's about my average. +12


RFKAO has decided to join the Flash Fiction fray this week. I fore see a challenge in the house over the weekend. +24


I submitted a pay stub late and now the rent will be late this month. That really sucks because this is the first month. Gotta pay a late fee. -75 (The Late Fee is that much)


PNNU seems to be moving on a bus that goes much faster than mine. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Kinda tempted to call my mother about it. Oprah and Reader's Digest is still fresh in my mind so I have to figure this one out myself. -21


Took Chewy on a 90 minute death march up and down all the hills of South Crest, he repaid me by pooping on the carpet an hour later. -20


Heard about a new series that I'd love to get into Magic City. Seems like a great show already. Can't wait until I get it on Itunes. Oh right it's not on Itunes yet. -19




This weeks tally: 62


62? what the heck???