What Am I Reading: Lothaire by Kresley Cole

First and foremost I bow to the superior commercial rightness of Kresley Cole. I have been reading her Immortals After Dark Series since the beginning. I’m sort of a geekified fan when it comes to her books. In fact she gets her own row in my book shelf.  

So when I got a hold of her latest book regarding the Enemy of Old, I was, well let’s just say that I already knew it was going to be good. Remember kiddies I’m a fan first.

I absolutely love the richness of the back story. It makes understanding Lothaire’s motives so much clearer.  I’d been dying to know what this “Endgame” was. The rather abrupt expulsion of he and his mother then her subsequent death would pretty much make any man a little mad. Very dramatic.

There was something I noticed here that I never really saw in all Ms. Cole’s other books. Seeing as we geekified fans are all familiar with Lothaire in all his nasty neutral but not by much naughty, you kind of just think of him as surly dialed up to fifty.  Was that ever a run on? I just figured he thought everyone but his own race was less. Not true apparently he has a special place in his heart for humans, the bottom, of his bottom.

What a mind fuck he got when his bride turns out to be human. Poor guy. You almost feel bad for him. I’m pretty sure someone in the Lore felt bad for him, that is if they all didn’t want to kill him. Fabulous set up Kresley, fucking fabulous.

Now follows the adjustment period of accepting the fact that not only is he saddled with this weak human as his bride, she a damn hillbilly. Picture Ellie May Clampet give her brown hair and then stick her in a room with sex on legs. Shit I felt bad for him. Lothaire like every Vampire in the series, becomes the most overbearing tyrant in the world towards his bride.

I’d love to say that the way vampires in her stories treat their new brides is tired and formulaic, but it’s not. In every story the men try very hard to dominate their brides, not just vampires, the whole freaking Lore does it. And yet it never gets tired. I don’t understand how that keeps working but I’m not going to knock it.

Not that Elizabeth didn’t deserve it sometimes. Ellie (ironically named) didn’t come completely with out assets. She’s got an evil deity sleeping in her that seems at serious odds with every one’s plans. I like how she was written, you aren’t supposed to like her and well I didn’t.

We also finally get to full story about La Dorada a powerful creature that was released by the Skiathi Archer in another story and her part was done rather masterfully as well. 

Lets be honest kiddies I am way too much of a fan to do this particular review objectively. I just can’t. I enjoyed Lothaire immensely and if I had three thumbs Kresley Cole would get them all.

But because I’m not objective I can say this. Kresley, sweetie you turned and immortal badass in to a powder puff. Lothair goes trick or treating? Seriously? Trick or treating was not part of the Endgame.

You still get three thumbs though.

The Bean Counter: So Random It Kind Of Gives Me A Head Ache

Well Thursday is fast approaching and I of course must do a break down. The randomness of these past ten days or so astound even me. So I'm just going to start with zero. Beware there are links all over this one.


When Otters Attack. Yahoo is on fire  with craziness. A triathlon-er  was, well training for a triathlon, when a deranged otter bit her 25 times. I'm not sure what's worse being bit by an otter or the comments from some of the people who shared their two cents. +15


Manage to witness some crack pot on Google + claim rather passionately that he not only is a vampire but was turned against his will. Well that seemed fresh out of a Dakota Cassidy novel... +10


Stuck on Chapter 9 after spending exactly 8 days on Chapter 8. -12


Mom arrived today and already my life is upside down. -8


Was denied financial aide this week due to my non residency status. I've lived in California since January but they only deal with people who've lived in the state for over a year. -25


The up side is I can appeal. +10


Went to Karaoke Sunday night. Some random drunk moron calls me Titties to my face when I came from the restroom. I asked him if he wanted to die that night. He went away after shortly after that. +19 (hey it was funny and awkward)


A witness to my desire to end people, blogged about this either Monday or Tuesday night. So I'm freaking famous. +10


In a very surprising turn of events I found both EL James' Fifty Shades Freed and Kresley Cole's Lothaire at Freaking Walmart of all places. +16


Speaking of Walmart since I was in the center of mediocrity, I broke down and purchased a fan for my apartment. Well it is for the dog but I'm the one in front of it. +5


The Photo Prompt is out and I actually saw it early enough to think of something to write. +6




I can't think of anything yet. -11


Got pegged to work at a new magazine launching in August. +5 


My gut feeling says it might not make it. -12




My mentor from my last ship managed to get time off the ship to come to San Diego. He gave me a thumbs up on how things are going. Of course like all mentors he said I had room for improvement but at at least I'm heading in a semi good direction. +23


Ate some fairly good Indian cuisine at this place called India Palace. Had something fishy that was beyond nom noms. I think I might have even mouthgasmed on the Samosa. +14


And because I just can't ignore the news Zimmerman told Sean Hannity that it was "Part of God's Plan" to kill an unarmed teenage boy. You have got to be kidding me... -17

OKCupid Bot

Let's not forget dating on Ok Cupid: 
Guy: Hey want to have some fun? I've never been with a Black Chick before.
Me: There's a pet store on University that sells chicks in all colors. Hook yourself up.
Guy: Screw you. Slut.
Me: Your Mom must be so proud. -15


Then Huffington Post put out this awesomely funny article about a guy so well endowed that TSA frisked him because they thought it was a pistol. And the kicker is this guys does not do porn. +5 


If he did would I watch it? I think most likely no. Somethings aren't meant to be seen by this woman. +/-0


And Last but not least it's Pride week in San Diego. I've a bunch of friends that will be attending. Which means so will I and Mommy Dearest is coming to the parade! How cool is that??? +28




And the total of all random in this crazy few days: 66 Meh...

What Am I Reading Wednesday- Once Burned by Jeaniene Frost

I have to admit folks I truly forgot to post until I was on Facebook commenting on someone else's blog.


Sad, children, very sad.


So this week I came back with another romance novel. I love them so. It has vampires so there's that blood fetish that seems to be all the crazy lately. Frankly I'm not complaining. There is always something terribly naughty about drinking someone's blood.


Not that I want to subject myself to the worlds greatest hickey, I just like reading about it.




Okay then:
Once Burned by Jeaniene Frost
So we've got Leila a circus performer who can electrocute people with the touch of her hand. What that really means is a life time of lonely nights on cold sheets and not even a dog to keep her company. Luckily she works with carney folk and strange is normal.


The book gets pretty interesting when she's accosted by three vampires. Normally most girls would pass out of they were kidnapped by vampires but this tough cookie works with one a little one named Frank. I mean he's really a wee little man. The other vampires need her some for dastardly deed and will not take no for an answer.


She complies and telepathically (for lack of a better word) meets Vlad, who is all about protecting her after she gave him the skinny.


For the rest of the book we watch the two of them grow in their attraction for each other. Those lonely nights we picture are gone for good because Vlad Tepesh here likes being shocked all the time. Vlad I knew you were a kinky bastard...


What's really cool about this book is the fact that Ms. Frost went through a lot of trouble creating a place  somewhere in Romania that has to be the most beautiful area in Eastern Europe. She makes it sound like a winter wonderland. I love how she describes the town below Vlad's castle and the touristy spots that surround the Dracula legend. Seriously that was a very special touch.


I also love that Vlad is a cross between old and new school where he has expectations of the people around him and has to adapt his way of thinking for Leila.  She really test him a couple of times in the book, and that they manage to compromise on some serious decisions is freaking priceless. It's very humorous to read how he reacts to Leila's independent spirit. The guy sets things on fire when he's angry. It's not over played here.


Frankly this book should not fall into the Trashy Mass Produced Romance Novel category, but it does and my wallet is not complaining about that. Once Burned gets two thumbs, seriously because it's got romance, danger, gory death and a strange family reunion that make sense. Can we say over the top in a pleasant happy ending sort of way. YES


You can watch the vlog if you like:

 If you'll excuse me and my seriously bad hair day we can wrap this up.




Next week is the second installment of Fifty Shades by EL James with Fifty Shades Darker. Oh La La

So Tomorrow is Wednesday

I realize that sometime later tonight I need to be posting the blog and vlog. Well let be honest kids that's going to happen unless there's another animal on the roof. What I haven't done for this week's Author was give them a heads up. Oops, my bad. I hit her up a few minutes ago on her blog. I hope she see it in time. I can always Tweet her.

What I have not done lately was post the photo prompt for you guys in case you want to join in on the Blog Hop each week. I felt bad about this morning when I woke up. So I checked to see if it was up yet and it wasn't. Maybe later.

I also haven't really done my Bean Counter.  Well I'm seriously thinking I should Change the day I do the Bean Counter because Thursday is such an odd day to comment about a week. Trust me I have a Bean Counter for the time since the last Bean Counter I think that one was last Saturday???

So here are the days that there isn't something scheduled Monday, Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday. I'd like to get three or more a week here.  I've been hitting that but I've really only been doing what I already have scheduled. I feel like the blog is going stale.

Is it me that going stale? Gawd I hope not. I might have to do something drastic like go on a diet or worse, find some half wit and date him seriously. Eghads! Let's not let it come to that.


But regardless this is tomorrow's book:

Trashy Mass Produced Romance With Vampires

My libido just mouthgasmed - I'm addicted to this shite and even the shame of it feels good.

Until later. Oh by the way, Chapter 8 is up on my website let me leave you the link: https://sites.google.com/site/readthisbytiatownes/home/the-new-god/the-new-god-ch-8-the-magic-killer

Notice, I left that whole darn thing up there this time. I want you to remember that, that's why. I think I have a waiting entry about that coming up that I have to finish for now just enjoy what's there.

What Am I Reading Wednesday - Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

This week brings an interesting book. I've seen it and heard of it and frankly just did care to read the dam thing. How ever before I cracked open said book I wanted to know who this guy was.

I found out a few things. The guy responsible for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Seth Grahame-Smith is also responsible for of all things, "The Hard Times of RJ Berger" on MTV. I've had the unfortunate luck of catching said show once. Never again. In his defense it is on MTV and unless you like that shite on MTV or if you're like a teenage mom, you won't like this. 

I even dragged my ass on cracking the book open, but it was already Wednesday and I was behind. So I sat down that night and read.

And I was truly truly truly impressed.


First off Mr. Grahame-Smith inserted himself into the story using the introduction. Funny I look at introductions and gauge whether or not I actually want to read them. It appeared too long for my small brain. But I figured if I'm going to talk about a book I should do it justice and read the whole thing into and all. Good on me for doing that because Mr. Grahame-Smith set the stage for some very extraordinary things.


The actual book book starts with a few historical facts about Young Abe, his life with his family and it's not very stable. Having never read anything about President Lincoln, I can only assume the constant moving his family did might be factual.


There's plenty of verifiable stuff weaved in with an awesome and imaginative tale. I have to give it to Seth, he did a great job. I was immersed, I got to follow Abraham along two rivers and witness several well written dream sequences.


Guys will love this book because Honest Abe does a pretty good job of axe wielding. Frankly, if I saw a really tall man carrying an axe I'd get the hell out of his way. But these were different times. That show Axemen ain't got shit on this, really Shit. They ain't got it. No one thought of the dangers he could pose. What ev's different times.


All in all I was impressed, in this book you get to be one with nature, channel your inner Huckleberry Fin, get a dose of late night fright, some sappy love, a whole lot of bro-mance, work some historical conspiracy theories, speculate on the future/past, and the best part, Abe Lincoln as an axe wielding vigilante. Rock on- Freaking Rock on...


The Book I got from Walmart has a mention of Tim Burton making this a movie. Tim Burton better not mess this up because I will venture out of my home to watch it. Yeah it's that good.


I also Vlogged this so you can watch it on Youtube.

Tune in Next week for Fifty Shades of Grey