Monday, February 11, 2013

I may be loosing my mind a bit. Or at least my way.

Not to this degree but it's getting there.
I have been making an attempt to be productive in my extended and unwanted period of unemployment. I've taken up sewing, I've even become a container gardner, I've mastered certain dishes to the point that they now seem more old hat and less complicated. That does not change the three things: I'm still unemployed, I'm still not in school, and I'm not writing like I used to.

Two of those things were never part of the plan. But either way the longer I continue to be stagnant the more stuff I'll have to "do" to keep from being more of a burden and less of a person making do.

I'd like nothing  more to get back into doing book reviews. I thought they were helping my in my goal of getting know. They were to an extent but I wasn't getting any companies to pick me up as a reviewer. I must have been going about that the wrong way. The second point about doing the book reviews was the cost. As I mentioned a million times before. I am unemployed. The amount of money I  put toward this non-paying hobby was seriously dipping into what little money I do have. I had to find another way.

I did enjoy reviewing the books. I hope to start that up again when I have the finances in a more stable, less starving condition. I think probably go back down to the one a week. Those E-books while much more convenient and more profitable for the author were just killing me.

You know what else is sapping my motivation? Dating. I'm of course talking about my addiction to I recently changed my profile to the most negative way I can portray myself just to see if the dogs would leave me alone. They didn't. So I had to add this to my profile and for a while I got a little peace.

It wasn't particularly nice of me but I still don't care. I figured that there is really no reason for me to complain about being single because seriously if I wanted to date I'd be dating. I just like looking at the profiles. It's sort of like shoe shopping without having to actually try on the pair in question.

Getting back to the sewing. I like it and with the National City Swap Meet selling fabric for $1.50-$2.00 per yard I'm going okay. I seem to be getting better. Some time in december I started doing this so that I'd have clothes to wear to job interviews. These two blouses I managed to finish with out losing a substantial chunk of my finger. But I get a kind of satisfaction from completing a garment. My office somehow morphed into a work room but I think once the shine has worn off on this new skill I'll get my office back. 

As I said before creatively I'm pretty stagnant I don't like it. I wonder if there is something to it? Maybe I'm not serious about writing? Maybe I've been wasting my time. This whole year has been full of ups and downs and random crap that has nothing to do with being a writer. Maybe I just need some regimen that I can stick to. 

But enough of that. It's Monday and I have things to do. One being that I need to clean my work room. There's thread everywhere and at least two patterns still open and strewn about the floor. I'm pretty sure if I walk in there barefoot I'll step on a push-pin and I definitely have to unplug my iron.

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