The Bean Counter: So Random It Kind Of Gives Me A Head Ache

Well Thursday is fast approaching and I of course must do a break down. The randomness of these past ten days or so astound even me. So I'm just going to start with zero. Beware there are links all over this one.


When Otters Attack. Yahoo is on fire  with craziness. A triathlon-er  was, well training for a triathlon, when a deranged otter bit her 25 times. I'm not sure what's worse being bit by an otter or the comments from some of the people who shared their two cents. +15


Manage to witness some crack pot on Google + claim rather passionately that he not only is a vampire but was turned against his will. Well that seemed fresh out of a Dakota Cassidy novel... +10


Stuck on Chapter 9 after spending exactly 8 days on Chapter 8. -12


Mom arrived today and already my life is upside down. -8


Was denied financial aide this week due to my non residency status. I've lived in California since January but they only deal with people who've lived in the state for over a year. -25


The up side is I can appeal. +10


Went to Karaoke Sunday night. Some random drunk moron calls me Titties to my face when I came from the restroom. I asked him if he wanted to die that night. He went away after shortly after that. +19 (hey it was funny and awkward)


A witness to my desire to end people, blogged about this either Monday or Tuesday night. So I'm freaking famous. +10


In a very surprising turn of events I found both EL James' Fifty Shades Freed and Kresley Cole's Lothaire at Freaking Walmart of all places. +16


Speaking of Walmart since I was in the center of mediocrity, I broke down and purchased a fan for my apartment. Well it is for the dog but I'm the one in front of it. +5


The Photo Prompt is out and I actually saw it early enough to think of something to write. +6




I can't think of anything yet. -11


Got pegged to work at a new magazine launching in August. +5 


My gut feeling says it might not make it. -12




My mentor from my last ship managed to get time off the ship to come to San Diego. He gave me a thumbs up on how things are going. Of course like all mentors he said I had room for improvement but at at least I'm heading in a semi good direction. +23


Ate some fairly good Indian cuisine at this place called India Palace. Had something fishy that was beyond nom noms. I think I might have even mouthgasmed on the Samosa. +14


And because I just can't ignore the news Zimmerman told Sean Hannity that it was "Part of God's Plan" to kill an unarmed teenage boy. You have got to be kidding me... -17

OKCupid Bot

Let's not forget dating on Ok Cupid: 
Guy: Hey want to have some fun? I've never been with a Black Chick before.
Me: There's a pet store on University that sells chicks in all colors. Hook yourself up.
Guy: Screw you. Slut.
Me: Your Mom must be so proud. -15


Then Huffington Post put out this awesomely funny article about a guy so well endowed that TSA frisked him because they thought it was a pistol. And the kicker is this guys does not do porn. +5 


If he did would I watch it? I think most likely no. Somethings aren't meant to be seen by this woman. +/-0


And Last but not least it's Pride week in San Diego. I've a bunch of friends that will be attending. Which means so will I and Mommy Dearest is coming to the parade! How cool is that??? +28




And the total of all random in this crazy few days: 66 Meh...

30 Hours Later and Airport Rest Rooms

Folks I have arrived! I am in fact back on the shores of the United States. I should be like super uber over the moon, when really I'm just tired. I also seem to be in the midst of the hugest craving EVAH for rice. I must be homesick, get it, laugh out loud, home sick. Technically, being back in the country of my birth, I AM home.

I do in fact miss Japan already, not because it's the best rice in the world, but because I have grown some attachments that I didn't realize I had. My tattoo artist for one, the two who work out of La Vida Loca are truly some great people. My home of course, I'd spent months between times at sea making it just right only to pack it up and come back stateside. Of course the beach I lived up the hill from. It was the greatest place to look at on a windy day. Wind Surfers everywhere I loved it.

The dream is over and what better way to close out a chapter in one's life than to have a very very VERY awkward moment in a public restroom.

I just collected a multitude of luggage from international claims. Not a bathroom in sight for what seemed miles of supper slippery flooring.  When I finally get to the shuttle pick up station. I begged some other Sailor to watch my bag while I go relieve myself. I'm happy so I thought. No I start thinking about how long I've been in these clothes. Comfy as they are, they smell like airline food, jet fuel (I had a wing seat), baby poo, and three day old cookies. I have to get out of these clothes.

Back in to the ladies room again. While I'm changing into another set of sweats, a woman starts talking. At first I thought maybe she was talking to someone but then no one responded. She was clearly distressed by her tone. It became clear that she was on a phone. Why she was using it in the stall, is not my business.

Whom ever she was talking to was not very helpful and upset her even more. Apparently she had no intention of flying to Seattle. She did not understand how she got there and was also suffering from some leg injury. The only thing that came to mind was this woman was ill (in the head) and she has to have an emergency contact.

The lady went on to request to the person on the line to call the police to have them come get her. Well good on you lady for at least knowing your in a bad way. The rep on the phone (the turd) was not trying to do that. She explained to person unknown (PU from now on) that she'd been there since last night. She told PU that her leg was hurting which is why she never left.

What an odd place to plant yourself!!! But hey if you're hurt, you're hurt.  I'm obviously just being nosey, but I want to help. So when I come out my stall stinky clothes under my arm, I'm greeted my a TSA agent who just happened to be washing her hands. Homegirl had her music up so loud on her I-pod that she couldn't have heard what's going on in the last stall. ** You know it's always the last stall. Why the last stall why not the middle one or the first?-  Out goes the TSA agent completely oblivious. The Chunky Cow, I bet she couldn't chase a Twinkie if it ran right into her. (I wonder if this is what guys mean when women talk about other women?).

Poor lady is STILL arguing about police assistance with PU. Finally I just went looking for a different TSA agent. I told them that was a woman on her phone in the bathroom begging someone to call the police. Who do they get to go int here to check it out? You guessed it, Chunky Cow. Thighs rubbing in cheap polyester pants and still blasting I-pod. (That wasn't nice was it? My thighs rub too. Shame face!)


By the time my shuttle came they still had  not  moved this poor woman!

This is what I'm coming home too!!!
I don't have enough FAIL stickers on me to pin point how this situation was handled poorly.

This makes me want to call my parents. I think I'll buy them each one of those Identifier bracelets. My parent aren't feeble. God willing they never become feeble. Still, I'd have to live with some serious guilt moving to San Diego when they live back in Boston and they needed me.

Of course that's my co-dependent self speaking. I KNOW it's my duty to take care of my parents when they no longer can take care of themselves. The problem was that I've been attempting to do that my whole life.

So if they said "T I'm getting too sick I think I have to go into a home." What would I do? Am I a bad daughter for not offering to help? Or will I use it as an excuse to look like a saint while simultaneously never achieving my full potential???