Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Friday Fictioneers- The Right Way

Well that was quick. I just posted something like twenty minutes ago. I guess I'm on a roll. I was taking a peak at this weeks Fictioneer photo prompt and the story just came to me. Well in all honesty that picture was just great. 

If anyone has ever seen the Labyrinth, you'll immediately recognize the potential of this photo like I did and just let your imagination run away. Please enjoy -The Right Way


Copyright- Joyce Johnson a Fellow Fictioneer

Sara passed that same hideous face five times already. The only one in the Labyrinth that did not talk to her. It just cackled gleefully at her, the voice of it ringing in her ears. Its face permanently mocking her, taunting her while she tried to break free. It never actually moved, she just heard it, in her head. 

She ran left this time, back tracking and ignoring the finger that pointed to the right. She ran, only to arrive back at the same finger and that same horrible face. Sarah sank to her knees. The laughing continued.

Check out the other Fictioneers in the Blog Hop on this inlinks thingie.  You can also contribute your own 100 words using the same link. You can peep the Facebook page too, there's  some other information on it that might interest you.

22 comments:

  1. Very scary, very sinister. A good one and an original take on the prompt.

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  2. Nicely conveyed sense of the frustration and fear she felt.

    In the first sentence, you probably want "the fifth time Sarah had run past..." Or you could say "the fifth time Sarah had passed..." Different parts of speech.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

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    1. I see what you mean . Thank you for the heads up, I'll go ahead and fix it. My Thanksgiving was awesome thank you. I hope yours was too.

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  3. Appropriately unsettling.
    I like it!

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    1. Unsettling. I like that one, thank you for stopping by.

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  4. "By the pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes." Sinister take on the prompt. I agree with Janet. Taking the passive out of the first sentence will strengthen the story.
    Glad you're back Atiya. Missed you.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle. It should be fixed by now.

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  5. Hi Atiya,
    I can relate. I hear laughter in my head. This is a scary little story with spooky and mysterious danger lurking. Ron

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    1. I think once in a while we all hear laughter in our heads. Thanks Ron for coming by.

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  6. That laughing face gave me the creeps too. You definitely crafted a fitting story for it.

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    1. Yeah the face is kind of creepy. If I were Sarah I think I'd be throwing something at the face by now. It wouldn't do anything but I'm sure I'd feel better for a moment.

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  7. Poor Sarah... I felt her despair. Liked the line 'she just heard it, in her head'... that was good.

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    1. It makes you wonder if the laughing is real, doesn't it? Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

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  8. Oh, how creepy to hear the laughing in her head. Interesting, too, that there were others that talked. Very imaginative. Well done!

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  9. Creepy is the word I'd use too. Oh, those mind games. Loved it.

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  10. Sounds like this was inspired by a real-life nightmare--good story.

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  11. Dear Atiya,

    A bad end for anyone. This theme seems to be almost jungian in the way it keeps cropping up in these stories. The prompt was devilishly hard this week but your story more than met its challenge.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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