Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Yes and instead of writing, sewing, cooking, or sleeping...

I went to the movies. Not just any movie, I went out with a
Even the poster is deceiving.
bunch of women I hardly knew and saw a Tyler Perry Movie.

Now if you'll remember, I talked about Tyler Perry some time early last year  in The Blessing and pretty much after watching this movie I firmly believe that he's wasting my time. It wasn't even that good a movie. I'm sure the rest of the ladies in the group enjoyed it though. I was not impressed from beginning to end.

Temptaion: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor is supposed to be this steamy movie about a seemingly happy woman being swept off her feet by this man who represents the Devil Incarnate. It's there trust me. From what the advertisements and the movie trailers said this was going to be sultry and sexy. A far cry from what Mr. Perry normally does.  Consider my hopes dashed when I realized that this sensual, erotic experience turns out to have a PG-13 rating. I mean check out the trailer:

Even the page on Imdb looked all grownfolk-y and stuff. (yes that is a picture of Kim Kardishian, no she did not do a good job) The movie followed the same stagnant formula all Tyler Perry's movies followed. Do the right thing, if you leave God behind you'll only end up hurting yourself, everything that is all consuming is bad, and you might even die from it because God will only go where you let HIM. By the end of the movie I felt like I'd done something wrong. 

The guy who does all the bad things in the movie was played by some guy who was clearly cast for his dashing good looks. The acting was terrible on his part and there seemed to be something really bad about the way he projected his voice. It got annoying really quick and when h finally stopped doing it somewhere near the end and actually started "acting," it was too late to save the rest of this train wreck. On another note, that same guy was an extra in the pilot episode of Fringe. Go figure!

Overall I don't blame most of the actors and actresses for this movie. I blame the script. Granted some really good people did really bad, the script couldn't be more awful. And let me tell you why.

People we've seen this shite already on Lifetime. There are a million billion movies just like this starring has beens from the 70's, 80's, and 90's that have in some way shape or form all chronicle the rise and fall of one woman being lead away from the good life by her coochie. I said coochie, yes and it's more powerful than any drug if tempted by the wrong guy. Ladies you've been warned. Every Lifetime Movie Special has the female lead end up killed, pregnant, raped, or HIV positive, because the guy she "fell in love" with, was utter poison to her life. I guess the moral of the story here is to stay in your house for the rest of your life. Yeah, with duck tape over your mouth and around your ankles ladies, because all that bad stuff that happens to us is all our fault.

Trust me when I say you could save your $11 and the trip to the theater by just catching one of those on the telly.

Then there's Brandi making this movie just that much more predictable by admitting that she was the former love interest of the villain and that she been running and hiding from him for damn near ten years. Doesn't that just tie up everything so neatly. Do I sound bitter? Maybe a little. I hate things that end so neat and clean the way this story did. I feel insulted to think I spent money to view this and even more insulted that this movie was made for my "demographic." Like that drivel concerns me, gimme a fuckin' break. At least he's not misquoting the Bible in this one.

Truthfully I saw the movie the day after it cam out on the 30th.  There really is no nice way to talk about a movie I didn't like. My disappointment with it hasn't dulled much either. So with that being said, I really don't think I'll being watching anymore Tyler Perry movies until they come out on Netflix.

And you shouldn't either, unless you like that stuff. Of course I'm judging you right now if you do. Totally judging you.

Totally Judging.


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