Yes and instead of writing, sewing, cooking, or sleeping...

I went to the movies. Not just any movie, I went out with a

Even the poster is deceiving.

bunch of women I hardly knew and saw a Tyler Perry Movie.

Now if you'll remember, I talked about Tyler Perry some time early last year  in The Blessing and pretty much after watching this movie I firmly believe that he's wasting my time. It wasn't even that good a movie. I'm sure the rest of the ladies in the group enjoyed it though. I was not impressed from beginning to end.

Temptaion: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor is supposed to be this steamy movie about a seemingly happy woman being swept off her feet by this man who represents the Devil Incarnate. It's there trust me. From what the advertisements and the movie trailers said this was going to be sultry and sexy. A far cry from what Mr. Perry normally does.  Consider my hopes dashed when I realized that this sensual, erotic experience turns out to have a PG-13 rating. I mean check out the trailer:

Even the page on Imdb looked all grownfolk-y and stuff. (yes that is a picture of Kim Kardishian, no she did not do a good job) The movie followed the same stagnant formula all Tyler Perry's movies followed. Do the right thing, if you leave God behind you'll only end up hurting yourself, everything that is all consuming is bad, and you might even die from it because God will only go where you let HIM. By the end of the movie I felt like I'd done something wrong. 

The guy who does all the bad things in the movie was played by some guy who was clearly cast for his dashing good looks. The acting was terrible on his part and there seemed to be something really bad about the way he projected his voice. It got annoying really quick and when h finally stopped doing it somewhere near the end and actually started "acting," it was too late to save the rest of this train wreck. On another note, that same guy was an extra in the pilot episode of Fringe. Go figure!

Overall I don't blame most of the actors and actresses for this movie. I blame the script. Granted some really good people did really bad, the script couldn't be more awful. And let me tell you why.

People we've seen this shite already on Lifetime. There are a million billion movies just like this starring has beens from the 70's, 80's, and 90's that have in some way shape or form all chronicle the rise and fall of one woman being lead away from the good life by her coochie. I said coochie, yes and it's more powerful than any drug if tempted by the wrong guy. Ladies you've been warned. Every Lifetime Movie Special has the female lead end up killed, pregnant, raped, or HIV positive, because the guy she "fell in love" with, was utter poison to her life. I guess the moral of the story here is to stay in your house for the rest of your life. Yeah, with duck tape over your mouth and around your ankles ladies, because all that bad stuff that happens to us is all our fault.

Trust me when I say you could save your $11 and the trip to the theater by just catching one of those on the telly.

Then there's Brandi making this movie just that much more predictable by admitting that she was the former love interest of the villain and that she been running and hiding from him for damn near ten years. Doesn't that just tie up everything so neatly. Do I sound bitter? Maybe a little. I hate things that end so neat and clean the way this story did. I feel insulted to think I spent money to view this and even more insulted that this movie was made for my "demographic." Like that drivel concerns me, gimme a fuckin' break. At least he's not misquoting the Bible in this one.

Truthfully I saw the movie the day after it cam out on the 30th.  There really is no nice way to talk about a movie I didn't like. My disappointment with it hasn't dulled much either. So with that being said, I really don't think I'll being watching anymore Tyler Perry movies until they come out on Netflix.

And you shouldn't either, unless you like that stuff. Of course I'm judging you right now if you do. Totally judging you.

Totally Judging.

Totally.

The Blessing

It occurred to me that I should start a second blog totally devoted to my exploits as a phone sex operator. Well I could do that, but how many times am I going to write about poo? Personally I hate poo, and I'm really not for spending more time writing something that's not going to make me famous. Though admitting that I'm a "sex worker" might just be the ticket to fame, it's not something I want to be known for. It's not like I'm going to have the Tyler Perry Blessing  or anything.


What is the Tyler Perry Blessing? Well let me first tell you in my opinion who Tyler Perry is. Tyler Perry is a large black man whom using his last dollar, made millions exploiting the black community. Go ahead and say "Don't Hate." I'm hating, and I have a good reason. Since WE (like the Royal WE) have supported this man for the last 15 years lets examine how he made his moneys. Then we can judge whether or not I need to do the same.


He invented Madea, Yay! Nothing like an 8 foot tall behemoth threatening violence at the drop of a pin and misquoting the Bible, to uplift a community. Now that's a Hollywood Win! I'm just saying, the guy dressed in drag and commercialized every stereotype and social dysfunction associated with being Black in America. Then the big tall bastard hand fed it back to us in stage form. People just as poor as he was, spent their hard earned money watching this garbage until someone had to take notice.  That dear friends is the Tyler Perry Blessing.


Before anyone brings out the pitchforks and starts chopping wood for the pyre, lets get a few things straight. I have taken the time to watch five of his movies and one of his plays. I even own one of them. Let me list them so you can for yourselves (if you're a fan) decide if I'm making any sense.  I Can Do Bad By Myself I own this one, The Family That Prays, Madea's Family Reunion, Why Did I Get Married 1 and 2, and Madea's Happy Family (that was the play). 


Let us examine the formula: each movie deals with some form of deception and selfishness. Each movie has some random person in it that is the quintessential bad person, not a villain, though some could make that leap, but these are "family movies." Most moves and plays, someone either dies, or breaks out in some seriously moving song. And my personal favorite part of every movie he makes is that "Luke I AM Your Father" moment. (when something known isn't exactly the truth or the whole truth) Such a gasps My Word moment, can't have a Tyler Perry hit with out one.


This was not my intention to rant about Tyler Perry when I wok up at 3:15 Am to write. Not my intention at all. I really wanted to talk about something else.


C'mon people there are not two kinds of Black People in this country. I'm not a Church going fool, nor am I a gun toting drug dealer. I refused to be represented as one. Good on Tyler Perry for finding a formula that works. He is shining examples of what Black People can achieve. From this amateur  writer's vantage point I can tell you that rising to that level would be freaking lovely. From another view point I think Mr. Perry can do something else now. He got his Blessing, he's never going to have to starve again.  I say put away the  drag suit and chop shop Bible. The royal WE will still be behind you Mr. Perry, you can stop now.


Next entry in a bit.