Return of The Bean Counter: The Departure of RFKAO

Welcome back to a scathing edition of the Bean Counter.


Well Crikey!!! Can I even find the last edition's tally??? Why yes yes I can :  69


Boss doesn't seem so angry at me anymore: +10


One of my clients tells me that my home town had massive gang violence over the weekend: -20


Nurse Mom is one year from paying off the house AND the car: +15 even though it means absolutely nothing for me. I'm just happy.


RFKAO has done a complete one eighty and turned into this completely unreliable angry person: -45


RFKAO stop caring about the home we are sharing together: -35 because I still care, anything of value in this place is mine.


RFKAO morphs into a nasty five year old, quits his job and parks himself on my couch when he's got a perfectly good room to veg out in: -30


RFKAO has to leave: +50


Started writing again: +10


Thanks to me pulling from my retirement fund, the rent will be paid up to August: +50 Hey I am tired of running that risk every freaking month with no help.

The internet brings a butt load of awesome Memes to the table. But NONE of them beat POF's version of the Fail Whale. I want to wear that on a T-shirt. Gosh darnnit that's just the cutest little robot ever: +12


Chewy was almost raped on Sunday night by a randy Maltipoo. I wish my dog had some balls...: -19 Darn you Humane Society for fixing him.


Then the little creeper actually followed us home while I had to carry Chewy: -15 We were then serenaded with sad whining because I wouldn't let the mangy thing in my house.

Came to the conclusion that I might have to start going beck to AA because life is not fun anymore: +10


Submitted my resume to a place I actually WANT to work at instead of waiting for pervs to call: +11


The next dating blog I do might actually have some insight in it. I'm thinking that I'll save it for Saturday since historically I don't post much on the weekends. The topic is why women keep attracting the wrong men:  +/- 0


Power goes out in the kitchen. I fixed it with out even putting on my tool belt: +13


Of course no Bean Counter is complete with out offending some one/group. I thank Google+ for this awesome meme:

 Epic +38


Walmart once again wins the war with my wallet. Went in for trash bags, left with $139 worth of crap. Utter simple crap: -12

Under a Vampire Moon By Lynsay Sands

How ever while at Walmart (Walmart is the Devil) I found the next two books I plan to review: +14

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter By Seth Grahame-Smith

The Plumber returned and removed of all things, a child's tooth brush from the drain in the bathroom sink. At least he knows I don't have kids: +5


The Plumber decided that the toilet pretty much needed to be rebuilt: +5 doesn't cost me anything.


That he's doing it while I sit there wiht a full bladder: -36


What's this week's tally: 115     A whopping 115, some where this is a win.


Donut forget the Friday Fictioneers coming up tomorrow.

Polish Dentist, Ashton Kutcher and Shia LaBeouf: The Bean Counter

Last Week's Tally 105






Polish Dentist extracts ALL her cheating ex-boyfriend's teeth. Once again proving that hell hath no fury like a dentist scorned.  -50


Getting called a class act for laughing at the victim's misfortune. +50


Seen the best celebrity parody of Shia LaBeouf ever click here +100


RFKAO now sells vacuums, personally I think the job already sucks. -10






Ashton Kutcher is looking to date again. Ask me how I know this? I saw the video of it on Girl's Got Shine (awesome Blog btw) see that on youtube, here  +13


 My home girl from High School, Michelle posted this wonderful (it's funny because it's true) statement on Facebook. +13

The bathroom in this awesomely awesome apartment is appearently haunted. Only because the toliet overflowed on Tuesday, then the sink started leaking. -75


That I can fix it with some teflon tape and a video from this old house. + 20


That I don't have permission to fix it. -35


Greatest example of not proof reading your work: The, The Impotence of proofreading your work. Thanks to @Ren_Thompson on Twitter +30


The Flash Fiction came out earlier and my story is all ready done for it. 126 words that's about my average. +12


RFKAO has decided to join the Flash Fiction fray this week. I fore see a challenge in the house over the weekend. +24


I submitted a pay stub late and now the rent will be late this month. That really sucks because this is the first month. Gotta pay a late fee. -75 (The Late Fee is that much)


PNNU seems to be moving on a bus that goes much faster than mine. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Kinda tempted to call my mother about it. Oprah and Reader's Digest is still fresh in my mind so I have to figure this one out myself. -21


Took Chewy on a 90 minute death march up and down all the hills of South Crest, he repaid me by pooping on the carpet an hour later. -20


Heard about a new series that I'd love to get into Magic City. Seems like a great show already. Can't wait until I get it on Itunes. Oh right it's not on Itunes yet. -19




This weeks tally: 62


62? what the heck???

Happy Hump Day

Well It's hump day again and this week Ms. Townes has a cold. Not good for business so you can guess I didn't work this morning. I did talk to Nurse Mom today, her only compliant is her hair is too long. You have to hear her: "Oh I hate my hair. It is soo long I can't curl it anymore. It gets in everything and I just can't stand it."

Really Mom? Ma do me a favor and come at me with a real complaint. Really I'm all smiles for her. 

What is so great about my mom is that she's like the best girlfriend I could ever have. Of course when she goes all mommy on me it's a whole different ball of wax, but for the most part she is great. I kind of pity anyone who doesn't have a friendly relationship with their mothers. I wonder why that is, let's ask Google.

The first article Google offers is from Reader's Digest's Stealth Health. (Click here for the whole article.) The title was 14 Ways to Have Healthy Relationships with Your Parents. Of course I'm looking particularly for relationships with your mom but hey it piqued my interest. I like number three: 3. Keep your sense of humor. When you’re dealing 

with your parents, laughter can be a lifesaver — both to help 

you handle the stress of dealing with sometimes crotchety 

individuals and to help you bond together. Tell a few jokes 

you know they’ll enjoy, share some comics from the paper or 

e-mail with them, watch the Letterman show together. If you 

can laugh together, you’re doing okay.

So I immediately want to call every parental unit I have,  just 

to tell this a really cheesy joke. I called my Dad, no answer, 

Step Mom, no answer, Uncle, no answer. Darn it was a really

good joke. I can't call Mom again because I already gave her 

an hour of my time. I should have done it then. Further down in the article it says something along the lines of not spending 

every waking minute talking to them. Clearly as much as I 

want to test this joke on someone, I know calling here would 

probably be... needy, stalker, I don't know- freakishly 

dependent???

I'm drinking some lemonade right now that is so good I have to tell you about it. 

Hurbert's Mango Lemonade. Like 

pouring glory down your gullet. 

And no I didn't get paid to say that. I 

wish, but really I was thirsty and this was 

in the fridge.

Anyway since Oprah pretty much rules 

the world I had to find out what she has to say about having a 

good relationship with your mother. OMoms -(eghads Oprah 

has everything) click here- has this article on the super 

longish side discussing boundaries, blah blah blah. I didn't 

read the whole thing just because its done as an interview 

between three people and my attention span is like that of a 

gold fish today.

The Article does hit on the pros and cons of technology in a 

mother daughter relationship. It also talks about how the 

relationship can change according to economy. Both of which 

I've had personal experiences. I have moved back in with my 

mother twice I think. And recently she did help out with 

getting me and RFKAO settled into the  new place.  Thank 

God I can pay her back. I refuse to let money change or 

relationship. By her riding rescue on my latest mishap only 

reinforces the role of parent for her when I'm more than 

grown. By my re-paying her I bring back the balance. Now 

getting her to accept the money will be a chore but totally 

worth it.

Technology, I've mentioned earlier is a little harder to 

finagle.  I love Facebook. I love the concept of the Social Network. Mom on the other hand is a little old school. Social 

Networking allows you 24 hour access to everyone all the 

time. She doesn't believe in that. I know where she is coming 

from, there really is no need to know that 

PowderPuffPinkDangerRanger45 can't sleep. But as 

remarked in OMoms: It can be a very good experience. It's another opportunity to mentor and coach your daughter. But again, it only works if you welcome them back as adults and not as children. So you're not telling them what to do, but [rather] you're providing them with opportunities to do more for themselves and manage their lives. 

Maintain healthy boundaries, and [make sure] that your daughter feels that, incrementally, she's able to become more and more self-sufficient.

Back to them boundaries again. I guess from these two articles I get two things. Mom and I are still growing and changing with the times. As long as we continue to change and never sty stagnant the relationship will thrive. 

Also I need to see her not as an equal because we never were, but something close to it. And so must she. The line is there and as long as we don't cross it we'll be fine.

Of course now that I have the authority from Reader's Digest and (spasm help me) Oprah, I wonder if my relationship with Nurse Mom is a healthy one.  Of course I see all kinds of flaws with it. Holy shite and muffins it's not perfect. I'm thinking trips back to Boston to have family  therapy sessions.

Grab the Atarax I feel an anxiety attack coming on. Does Nurse Mom think our relationship is flawed? Should I call her and tell her Oprah thinks the relationship needs improvement? But if I call her then Reader's Digest will get me for seeking approval from her. What do I do?

I finish this entry and get RFKAO to walk my dog with me, so we can smoke and pick up Chewy's poop at the same time.

Oh btw here's the joke:

Me: I know how to put an elephant in a Safeway bag?

You: How do you do that?

Me: Well, you take the F out of Safe, and the F out of Way.

You: There's no F in Way...

Me: (>_<)

Courtesy of Mr. Sulu aka George Takei.




Added Later. The LA Times just happened to post this article. Click here... I can call her!!!