THE DOG LOG HIATUS

The Dog Log is going dark for about two weeks to catch up on some medical, familial and financial issues.

If you are looking for some fun stuff to check out in the interim, you can view these fine sites and blogs if you haven't already.

The Straight Dope
Cracked
Madison Woods
Girl's Got Shine
Goodreads
Earwax Dissertation
eFiction
Nobilis Erotica
Snopes
The Newsosphere

Another Nobilis Pod Cast

Last weekend Nobilis asked me if I had time for another voice recording. I did and then Bianca and Liddy landed.

You can listen to it here.

If you want to read his other awesome Pod Casts you can click here.

And I hope you  enjoy.

Friday Fictioneers: Toddy & Errol

This week for the Friday Fictioneers, I bring back Toddy and Errol from "A Country Walk". Once again the boys are out, walking in the country.

By Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Toddy & Errol

“You can use spiderwebs over a gash, stops the bleeding.” Toddy said to Errol.

“Yeh, well who told you that bit Toddy?” Errol didn’t really care he just wanted Toddy to shut it.

“Nobody told me Errol.” Toddy heaved himself over a fallen log. These country walks never got easier.

“Well then, you don’t know if it’s true then do you?” Errol eyed the webs over head. He whipped around scratching Toddy on his fleshy arm. “There’s the web, gotta stop the bleeding, Toddy.”

“You’re a prat, Errol.” Toddy reached for the web. He’d kill Errol for that.

For more of the Blog Hop of the Friday Fictioneers you can head over the Facebook and check out the page. On Twitter #FridayFictioners. Or you can go to Madison Woods for the rules and see a list of Fictioneer contributors and click on them at random. Happy Reading

The Bean Counter: A Bag of Puppies and Dead Zombies

Seen the most heart wrenching youtube video of all pet mommy and pet daddy time. Purina ProPlan makes every dog a great dog and for 62 seconds I did nothing but tear up then hit replay over and over and over again.

I can't even quantify how awesome that little video is. But I can try. +50

I canceled my OKCupid profile for all of a week in a half. Then I got bored and had to do a completely different one from scratch. -10


Thanks to this week's article, call it Kismet why don't you, I got nothing but hits on the new profile from guys old enough to need a waiver. Disproving the whole women in our 30's are unattractive. -10

Copyright 2012 Nicole Sturgeon

but +15 because I'm a dead sexy thang

Stupid bot...

Went outside to smoke a cigarette the other day with my bestie and was greeted by a man sprawled out on the pavement. I was bummed,  I had been pretty much telling myself that I live in a fairly nice neighborhood. -10

Went to the beach and was kindly asked by a deaf man on a tricycle to flash my boobies. True Story. There were witnesses. +20

So geeky, I had a gasm in my brain:
What are you doing for the Zombie Apocalypse? Do you have a plan? Have you assembled a team? Well I proudly say with all the joy and sarcasm I can muster that I'm officially the token black chick in my friend's (click on her blog) ZRT (Zombie Response Team) She even drew me a caricature. +35

She drew me a girl-ifed badass. There's even a little flower in my hair. +10

LA Times reported that they found a Woolly Mammoth tooth while digging up the area for a new train station. And I'm sure Bill Nye the Science Guy stroked his bow tie when that happened. Heck, I'd stroke his bow tie... Evolution GO!! +15 for Science.
-10 for the epic headache the people attempting to build on the site now have.

Speaking of Evolution...
My new favorite show (Gag Me) Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Chile! came under a little more scrutiny yesterday when one of the ladies from The View blasted the little chubby starlet for being overweight. I'm okay with this and I agree with Joy Behar. She is overweight and if her parents continue to feed her the way they have been she'll only get more obese and she'll have a plethora of health problems. +10 for having some balls Joy.

Why is that show even on television? -25 for the de-evolution of the modern society.

And what's The Mars Rover doing? Something cool I hope...

I'll admit I cried during this movie.

No not really, they are just playing with the seven foot long robotic arm. It's kind of cool... +7

However an astroid the sized of three football fields passed really close to Earth today (Thursday) around 3 PM PST the geeks who were tracking it said it wasn't dangerous. +5
Was anyone else thinking what I was thinking?
<========== Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep... -45 because I can't remember the rest of the song.

No, well how about a Bag of Puppies to make up for that?

What is the tally this week? Another bag of puppies.

More like: 57


Stay tuned for this week's Friday Fictioneers

Why do: Older Men Date/Chase Younger Women.

Sometime over the weekend I was approached by a man the same age as my mother. He asked me how my day was, then began talking about his daughter and grand children. I’m a fairly nice person sometimes, so I let him talk. He went on to say his daughter was 30 and she was dating a very bad man. I appropriately pitied him for his familial troubles and let him ramble on.

I guess the man decided that I was good enough, because after he exhausted the topic of his daughter he began asking about me. Where was my man, how old am I, do I have kids. He was shocked that I’d managed to go 32 years on this planet and not have kids.

WHY IS THIS SO ODD?

But seeing as I’m such a freaking gem, he decided he had a chance and said: “I’m 55, am I too old for you?”

“Yes, yes sir you are.” I said this with all the solemn respect I’m supposed to have for my elders. Because really, he’s the same age as my mother. He didn’t age like my mother who worked out all the time and took great care of her skin and was a very healthy vibrant woman. 

But I’m not rejecting this man because he didn’t take care of himself. I’m rejecting him because he is 55, I don’t see him as a remotely sexual being, and he told me about his 30 year old daughter. I pictured my father talking to some woman I didn’t know about me, I didn’t like it.

So what do you think motivated him to even think of dating me? I couldn’t tell you. So I asked a few people on Facebook and Google+. Why do older men chase younger women? I asked the men, and like everything I ask, only women have the answer. Because we ROCK, YEAH. 

The women all pretty much say the same thing: Because men want to feel young again. Or they don’t find older women attractive. Well, ladies it’s not looking good for the fellas, is it. Maybe we should start adopting more pets.

So some guy on Jezebel.com says that it’s a kind of validation of a man’s vitality or a presentation of power. I can dig this because the older I get the easier becomes for me to spot the doddering old fool among the pack. That whole crisis part of midlife crisis thing. The identity of the man is changing so in order for him to not appear feeble he finds younger women.

So here is where I break out my inner cynic and scream "young and dumb" at the top of my lungs. I had a friend who would only date older men after high school. I mean, she dated guys in their late 30’s and early 40’s. My immature brain pictured wrinkly penises and moley balls. I could not condone the practice no matter how much money they threw at her. It was not worth the sacrifice. Which is probably why I was always broke, that hind sight will get you. Obviously I’m aware that men that age aren’t all that bad, but to my 19 year old brain...you can imagine.

I think and I’m allowed to be wrong that older men like younger women because they haven’t developed into a complete adult just yet. The body is there, it’s just that the mind isn’t quite done. I’m obviously talking about teenagers and college freshmen here. For these women an older man is the “perfect guide” to take her through the new and exciting world where all the big kids play. Suddenly the man gets to re -experience all the same things from a fresh new perspective wrapped neatly in a tight young body. He even may score some cool points among his friends if he dresses her correctly.

We’ll get back to that in a sec but I had to share a little about this completely cockamamy, in my opinion, scientific approach to the question of why old men date younger women. The Science Blog theorized that it’s actually a way to combat natural selection. MY ASS! 

Aging men who mate with fertile young females actually increase the life expectancy of the species.  I’m not quoting here I’m summarizing, you can read it if you want later. The male having lived for such a long time, must have some genetic advantage that passes to the next generation both male and female thus increasing the life expectancy of the species.

Why do you think I am vehemently opposed to this idea? Well for one old men don’t just chase young girls. That’s only one demographic. What about old men chasing young boys (young men for the insecure of the bunch)?  A whole different set of rules to play with? Not really. Two these guys aren't looking to pass on more genes and contribute to the species.

Some dude on the Frisky.com pretty much said it’s because guys want to feel young. So we are back at youth roller derby now. I mean there’s mention as well of that whole need to reproduce but men old enough to be dads, usually are and that make this entirely way more creepy.

But the gist of what I’m finding out is that men don’t want to be looked as as weak, silly (I beg to differ), unattractive, or harmless. They want that association of sexy, dangerous, youthful, visceral, they want validation that they are commanding. And for a good number of men it’s not hard to pull off on someone who has never lived outside the bubble of youth. That Frisky article paints all young females as victims of men that strangely reminds me of Mr. Paper Trail (a fictional person fashioned after every Hannah Barbara Villain ever made). I like the Frisky article though, it actually lays some of the blame on Hugh Hefner. Wiki has his net worth at 43 million dollars in 2009. That can't be right.

But what about my case? That man was 55 to my 32. I’m supposedly peaking. He’s past his prime, his prime was over before I was born so what then? Let’s be honest, I might kill the poor guy if I decided to hope on his geezer stick and women my age are all peaking right now. My understanding is, women in their 30’s actually demand not only more sex than the younger nubile counterparts but better quality orgasms. We’re embracing our sexuality and some even take the cougar mobile ourselves to satisfy our needs. Clearly this man might need a waiver. But instead I’ll make a guess.

Maybe he wants to seem like a protector? Roll with me on this. This is for the guys out there who actually believe in taking care of a woman. A man that age looks at a woman my age and depending on each person will see a person that needs or does not need his help. Anything the older man offers will be considered a gift. 

Not feeling that? Let me try again.

I’m younger than him but not so young that I’m completely inept. I can and have survived on my own for a while. So my affections if I decide to show it would be more “genuine”. ... OR... Maybe he thinks I find myself so unattractive that I’ll take what ever comes my way. So I’ll be extra nice because I’m not getting any younger.

Not liking that either. Okay one more shot then I’m fresh out ideas.

Maybe he just liked me.

Regardless this isn’t about why he approached me. It’s about why older men in general chase youth. Maybe it’s my jaded heart that says the youth is easier to lie to. Anyone who’s been on the dating scene, at the bars, clubs or gyms, can tell you that there aren’t any new lines out there. After a while the all recycle and then the whole dating experience becomes one blur after another of meaningless conversation, even more meaningless sex and the worst thing ever, settling.

I think the settling is what does it. Suddenly the idea of aging scares men and they do all the same things. They take up a new hobby, buy a new car, exchange the old girl for a new one. There is never anything wrong with the old but the new is exciting. The young is fresh, innocent, untarnished in mind or body. It’s seductive and challenging, but not to challenging. If molding a young woman into the perfect arm candy were lots of work I wouldn’t be writing this.

And maybe certain guys just like young women. Some times it might be the simplest of answers.

Somewhere in this article I used information from this web publication. I can't really say what part but I need to give credit.

I also used materials from here too. If I missed something please don't be mad.

Flash Fictioneers: Bringer Of Life

I never did submit my Flash Fiction for the week end. But I did say I was very excited to share it with you. So here it is, more of an introduction than even a snippet of a story but I like where it's going.

Bringer of Life:

It was nearing dusk and the spirits shivered with anticipation. The traveler ambled closer and closer to the ramshackle building. She would be their queen. She would take them from this place. They’ve waited for a female, a bringer of life. Finally.

Power swirled around the back packer, guiding her toward the shack. The spirits quivered and flitted between the stones as she mover nearer. They could almost feel the life emanating from her. Her nubile body would stand the process well. They would all worship her for the births she would bring to them. To be alive again.

Photo Prompt for the Friday Fictioneers

Not every week do I manage to get a chance to post early on the Photo Prompt. When I do I get this special little feeling inside when my head starts spinning a 100 word tale. I'm looking forward to what is coming out of that this week.

What an awesome picture by Piya Singh Bittercharm. OOO I want to go camping there. Scary.

As always you are all invited to participate in the Friday Fictioneer's Blog Hop for more details check out the page on Facebook. Then you too can be a creative dynamo like the rest of the players. So Come on.

Photo by Piya Singh Bittercharm

What Am I Reading Wednesday: False Positives by Kim Aleksander

Well! I have to say that even though the cover says A Techno-Thriller on it, this lovely piece of intrigue falls perfectly into the conspiracy genre. Hold up kiddies there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. I love a good conspiracy, almost as much as I love paranormal romance.

Kim puts together a cast of characters who bring a strong presence to every part that they are in.  I found two weak point the whole book where I wasn’t feeling them but good googly moogly, who cares.

The story is based the idea that computer programming could possibly be the reason for the start of world war three. Sound familiar? It should there are enough movies about this same idea. I think own a few... 

We open with a college student circa the Viet Nam era tripping on something and creating the first computer bug by hand, punch card style. The book flashes forward from there to 2007, but then makes it a point to follow this genius throughout important parts of said tripper’s life. The books leads you, the reader, to the business end of Washington DC, divey areas of Thailand, the fall of Saigon, and even to Tehran. A lot of research went into this book and it’s not lost on you as you traverse the world with the characters.

I can say that this book comes with all the requisite ingredients for a thriller: deranged military and government officials, creepy assassins, and old men considered harmless or crazy, good stuff really. What makes this a stand out for me is the random Thai tranny, the girl on girl action, and the fact that everyone seems to have daddy issues. How they feel about Daddy seems to motivate just about everyone even those who’s father isn’t even relevant. 

Junior the voiceless and some would want to think brainless machine, makes a perfect foil for all America’s fears. The program operates without concern for moral rightness. It is business, the opposite of humanity and ironically created by humans. It’s after results, and humans constant need to have a decision made for them makes the system so easy to abuse. It’s a means to an end but is it the right end?

I think a good portion of time was spent understanding why this machine should not exist, inside each characters mind. The way that they eventually blended together and worked toward the solution for Junior was neatly arranged. If that time was not spent I think the characters would have been flat and the story would have suffered. Some books I’ve read lately have not been able to pull that off.

What did I not like about the book? Not much. Because this book does not really need romantic undertones, it’s just that good, what little romantic interactions there were, could have been omitted. I’m not even really strong on that stance because the story doesn’t really have to reach that far AND it’s done in such a matter of fact ay that you don’t even really question it. I did love how smitten one of the minor characters became with the aforementioned tranny. I especially loved it when he got warned by both his/her father and brother. Freaking classic, as a comic relief moment goes that was superb.

The end was a little too tidy but what do you expect? These are, despite their collective big brains, humble citizens of the world and all they really wanted in the end was to just live in peace. Sorry no sunsets or sailing off into the moon light here.

Was this a good book? Yes. Did this live up to it’s techno-thriller title? Yes. We already said this was a great conspiracy novel. Super Yes. Is this a guy book? MMM maybe, but not so much a guy book as just a really good book.

Thanks Kim Aleksander for putting some seriously good hard work into this story. It was totally worth the wait ordering the print copy.

So does Kim get two thumbs for this? Of course he does. You can find your copy of False Positives at Amazon.com here. Or you can go find it some other way and then you'd be on you're own.

What are you still hungry for a little more? You're in luck I've vlogged this review and if you just click a little further you can watch me wax poetic some more.

The Bean Counter: Strictly the news this time, because the news is funny.

Quite Possibly the Greatest News OF ALL TIME: Jersey Shore is going off the air. +200

Pakistan is gearing up for another round of hate crimes. Starting off with framing a 13 year old retarded girl for Blaspheming. A man of a different religious background was seen putting pages of the Qur'an into her burn bag. Then he ratted the girl out so that she'd be put to death and her people would move away. I'm pretty sure at 13 girls blaspheme all the time in Pakistan (yeah if they have a death wish). Throw in the retard part and she's bound to be burned at the stake. -25

The Class of 1973 in some back water town decided that their 2012 reunion was open to all graduates except at one party where it was whites only. A few people bold enough to broach that taboo subject actually claimed it was justified because and I quote, "Blacks have the NAACP and BET. If they want to be segregated, why can't we have a whites only party?" Yeah well, we DO have all that and more. I'm pretty sure though we never told the rest of the the world they couldn't watch, contribute or participate. Ya'll get out from 'round here now... -40


Clint Eastwood goes all Dirty Harry on us at the RNC when he sticks it to the MAN. Really he just talks to an empty chair and tells himself to do unspeakable things to himself and Mitt Romney???? +10 for the unspeakable acts and -15 millions of responsible adults cheering on an old man talking to an empty chair.

Speaking of Republic National Convention Bill Maher gets a little impassioned about things when he makes this startling observation.

+45 Oh Bill Maher...

And while the fate of the country if not the world hangs in the balance of good and evil, Seal publicly tells soon to be ex wife Heidi Klume to stop sleeping with the help. Puts little blaspheming retarded girls and Dirt Harry's empty chair into perspective doesn't it. Why is this news??? -17

Then a Naked Prince Harry gets spotted in Las Vegas in a private dwelling or private club or some place PRIVATE. Dude it's Vegas it was bound to happen one day. I'm not even going to support a link for it. And you know why. Because I don't care. +5 You stay classy Harry.

But that's all on Earth, my new favorite nerd-gasm waiting to happen, the Rover Curiosity hopefully stopped all that music nonsense from last week and began moving again. The rover is off to see the wizard, or really some rocks off in the distance. The Engineers (the ones with the really BIG pocket protectors) have been playing with the America's most expensive remote control car and have finally picked a destination. +50

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff: Yeah So Doctor Who Premiered in the US yesterday (Saturday) and guess who did not get to see it. This Geek FAN. You got it, yeah the Dog Log can't afford cable so I have to wait for Netflix. -40

Then to make matters worse the latest Doctor, a Matt Smith basically said that he might not do it anymore. You pansy. You would say this after millions watch the premier last night. -27

Back in the real world, more specifically, home in Boston, politics gets SUPER dirty when Scott Brown throws up a website calling Elizabeth Warren a "fake indian" and more. Now I'm not a big fan of her either but I'm not going to waste tax payers money to shame her just because.  What a freaking waste -19

Who said Boston was stuffy? See, we get nasty like everyone else. +5??? 

Speaking of dirty. How this is a good thing, I have no idea, but a creature I've only heard of and have never seen washed up on the shores of Mississippi in the aftermath of Isaac by the hundreds. What ever a nutria is people are actually glad to see them dead. Something about eroding the marshlands. Grossness but YAY!?!? +14

-70 Because a dead carcass still smells like well, dead things.

So how is the state of the world today? I'm going with 70 since I can't do math very well. At least it's not a +3 like last issue of the Bean Counter.

Because I'm a proud Doggy Momma

Over on Facebook a good friend of mine decided to make me a poster for my door. Because I'm such a sucker for my little buddy I felt the over powering need to share this picture with you.