Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I'm watching you Mr. Paper Trail...

The agony of waiting. My eminent departure hovers near. Whooaa scary. I should be scared shite-less if it weren't for the fact that I've been waiting to get off this island for almost two months now. I'm not in a hurry, I've said that before, but that's because I hate change(and math, screw you math!). So I'm partaking in the circus called paperwork. The Navy like any other large corporation is bogged down by the infamous villain called the paper trail.  This vile creature lurks in offices and work centers everywhere, even home offices and class rooms. It's only goals are to kill time, money and to disappear at critical moments. 

So here I am waiting, for paperwork. I picture picture  hunched over men with pencil thin mustaches and bowler hats every time I think of my orders. Mr. Paper Trail gleefully rubs his gray gloved hands together, knuckle to palm over and over, snickering to himself when ever he invents some new way to drag out a process. I can almost hear the snarly nasal chuckles. Kind of like every villain from old Hanna Barbara cartoons. I'm on to you Mr. Trail. I'm watching you.

I ventured forth today hoping on hope that today would be just like yesterday. Yesterday put the fag in Fabulous. Say it with me ya'll. FABULOUS!!!! Today was like taking a bunch on downer pills from that kid who has ADHD. I met with the VA representative today. This guy is either really stupid or so smart the average sailor just can't comprehend him. He says to me that I may not be eligible for  benefits due a veteran because there is no official record of my first Honorable Discharge. Mind you I'm sitting in his office with my Honorable Discharge award, my Re-enlisted Contract and my Certificate of Re-enlistment.  Since I've been in for almost six years now and contributed to the GI Bill, I think I'm entitled.

No, he argues with the surety of any Southern Baptist preacher, unless I was issued a DD-214 with these other supporting documentation, I am not eligible. Mr. Paper Trail Strikes again. I have to wait on this discharge to see what general code it will be to get a final yea or nay from the VA.  hey that rhymes! But don't fret he says, because after six months you can petition to upgrade your discharge for benefits reasons. Six months, what the heck am I supposed to do for six months??? I vote a big what-ev's on that. It's not that I don't care, I'm just not too big on people taking time out my day to tell me I'm sitting in a pile of poo. Thanks guy I didn't know that, do you mind running along and returning with a shovel? No? Right then, be off with you. As the 212 friends on Facebook.com would say, SMDH (Shake My Damn Head)!     

Clearly this day could not possibly get worse, right? One can only hope. I went in to work after the meeting with VA Guy. No one seemed to be around. I shook off the notion and hunkered down in the storage room and waited for someone to muster me. I break out my trusty notebook and begin writing my short. Two hours goes by and still, no one musters me. That's fine, my main character just found out she's pregnant. Heck: I didn't know either until I wrote it. I can't complain that I got two blessedly quiet hours to write. I can't complain about that; but I can complain about that fact that I showed up twenty minutes after the rest of the gang was let off for the day. The guy at the front desk just failed to mention that. I could have just came home.

Like all blessings that come my way it has layers good and bad. On one hand I stayed on base two hours more than I needed to be. On the other hand not only did I get two hours of decent writing done, I also caught up with a bunch of people from the ship, and managed to collect some packages. For that I had to wait another hour, but it was for mail. 

I love getting packages. Especially shoes, I love shoes. Thanks to the Postal Service to ships in the east Pacific, these shoes I got today, were ordered four months ago. So to me it's like getting a Christmas present. Oh joy! not one pair, but two and they're like, pin-up girl sexy. There's more, a pair of jeans, a dress and a jacket. I don't remember ordering any of this crap. My day shot through the meter after that.

I figure I need to start advertising. What better way to advertise on my blog than with stuff i actually own? I do have a shoe fetish. When I'm sad I go window shopping at the shoe section of any store. I always feel better after trying on a pair or five. What do you people think? Maybe I should go with something more common to every one. Maybe this will be the next question for the poll. What advertisement(s) should I have on my page? Women's shoes or something geared towards my love of writing, or something else? You decide, you are my audience and I want to hear from you. Drop me a note and don't forget to vote.

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