I was reading Girls Got Shine today and her blog talked about that mini-relationship. Everyone who's ever done online dating has done this at least once. That guy or gal you meet online, you both initially hit it off enough to meet in person. But once you do meet you either sort of just let the person fade into the background or you just plain outright don't mesh as well. It happens and there's nothing to be ashamed about.
I thought about the last guy I actually went on a date with. It was terrible and heaven forbid I ever see that guy again I might cower and run. I'm not afraid, mind you, of him. I just don't want the headache.
Ms. Shine thinks that the people you have mini-relationships with have just as much affect on you as the folks you date long term. I agree. The last guy I mini-dated was a migrant farm worker. He was so far out of my league that I took pity on him and cooked him a meal before sending on his merry way. That is not the life for me, nor do I want that in my choice of partners. But the stories I had for that guy lasted me a good two weeks at Karaoke night.
I'm going to take it a step further and say that the folks you MEET will have some impact on who you date. You don't really have to date them; you just have to talk to them, read their profile. There is a reason, and it might not be listed, why that person is still single.
My personal favorite ones are the guys who seem nice at the start but somewhere in the conversation phase he says:
Like I said on FaceBook back in June, I'm better off in a bar.
But the upside is that when you meet people like that you only remember them for a short period of time. You can and do move on from that with some small lesson learned and keep it moving like Ms. Shine said.
The idea though is to never give up on yourself, never let yourself go, and most important reach out.
I know what you're thinking. "Why Ms. Townes, you haven't been on a date in ages."
And you'd be right. What you don't see is that I've been busy doing and sometimes not doing things.
Dating is like mining for diamonds. You can spend all day in the mud and get nothing then, HUZZAH you have something great. In other words dating doesn't pay often but it pays really well when it does.
I still stand by my statement. Reach out. They don't bite unless you let them, or you like that sort of thing.