Thursday, April 12, 2012

Friday Flash Fiction: Rural Route 27


Flash Fiction returns this week. Only because I need to get back into a routine. The picture prompt that came out on Wednesday over on Madison Woods' page is where you can get links to other Flash Fictioneers short stories. Also you can participate if you like, just make sure you link your story to her blog.  Follow us on Twitter tomorrow if you like: #Friday Fictioneers Enjoy.


Deena walked the tunnel twice a day ever since she was allowed to walk alone. It crossed under Rural Route 27. It was the only way to town from her home. Her safe quiet, never changing home, that housed generations of her family for 200 years.

The tunnel wasn't that old, but the path leading to and from were, another never changing thing that made up Deena's life. It was periodically reinforced but nothing drastic. 

Today the tunnel was no different than it was before. The person who passed under Rural Route 27 had changed. Last night after Reggie Malloy tried to get in her pants again, she made a decision. This place could rot.

When she came out of the shadow of the tunnel, the light caught her ponytail. She squared her shoulders and took the first step into the rest of her life.

21 comments:

  1. Enjoyed this Atiya. A very effective description of a pivotal moment in a young girl's life. Well done.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/

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    1. Thank you. I was very tempted to take this in another direction. I was going to plan something dark. But the idea of starting a new adventure won out. Thank you for visiting.

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  2. Excellent. I'm so glad she stood up for herself. I hope she did some lasting damage.

    http://quillshiv.com/2012/04/12/flash-fiction-faction-from-agatha/

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    1. Yes if this story was expanded, I'd expect Deena would have done some harm. She seemed at the end of her rope. It's always good to know when to leave.

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  3. Atiya, I like the way you used a the metaphor of "light at the end of the tunnel." A full and rich story in so few words.

    --Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/1571/

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    1. Thank you so much. I was going for optimism by using the light. Thank for visiting

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  4. I loved that you set this up with an unchanging path, but the person had changed instead. Very great end-beginning!

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    1. I'm glad that you liked it. Thank you.

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  5. This is a fascinating begining - I would absolutely read on to find out what happens in the rest of the story. Well done!

    I'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fiction-the-tunnel/

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    1. I read yours and I was so into it. Kind of chilling. Thank you. You know this exercise is so great for stirring the cobwebs of the brain. I hope one day I can expand on a few of these stories.

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  6. A person taking the choice to change in response to an unchanging environment, something many people can relate to. Your story made it easy to engage with your character and the positive ending ties it off nicely. :-)

    Here's my story this week:

    http://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/meet-me-there/

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    1. Thanks I felt a little like Deena this weekend as I was moving. We're still in the middle of unpacking but I was really digging the change theme when I wrote that.

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  7. An interesting, honest and realistic story of moving on. Almost everyone can relate to this in some way, and it absolutely sticks out as one of the best stories this week.

    Mine is this-a-way:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/134/

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    1. I really appreciate that you said that. I am in no way a great story teller YET. Thank you so much.

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  8. Great start to what feels like a longer story. In such a short space you've down an excellent job of delineating character, problem/dilemma, and story arc. Here's mine: http://furiousfictions.com.

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    1. You know that's a great idea. I should keep this one saved for when I'm looking for a new heroine.

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  9. Really loved the last line! I like stories of strong women. Deena sounds like one.

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    1. You can tell that Deena would be a strong person. Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  10. Great connection between a struggle to change and move on with one's life, and the light at the end of the tunnel. It's always darkest before the dawn, and all that. Thanks for sharing!

    http://the-drabbler.com/the-tunnel-of-misfortune/

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    1. I think if I were to build her as a person I'd put a lot of me in her. Just because I felt that same way before joining the service. I would believe she'd need an adventure. I like your story very much.

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  11. Great job in so few words. Good for Deena.

    Mine at http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/04/nightmare.html

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