Today is the first day of the rest of my life. As I've been camped out in the Seattle/Tacoma International Airport since 11 AM and its 4:30 isn't really that bad. That I've been discharged since 8:30 this morning is another story.
Funny thing I had a craving today. I really truly wanted a drink. I almost rationalized that I should have a drink. It seemed like such a good idea. In fact it still seems like a good idea. I just don't want to take that chance. I find myself even talking to myself about just having a drink.
Seriously no one would know that I drank today. Because I'll just have one. Since I haven't overindulged since my 31st birthday, I think I can manage one drink.
Personally I think it's harder to accept that I have a drinking problem if I really have three drinks a night. That's all I needed. So some days like today when I almost fooled myself into having one are really hard to fight. What scares me is that they will offer me something on the plane and I'll take it. I know nothing will come of it. Because I've been very responsible, and successful at masking this problem. But I don't believe that I really want to ruin everything I've put into recovery since August 22, 2011. It's not worth it.
Speaking of drunk people, So I'm begging the boarding agent to let me on an earlier flight. Right next to me at the next counter, this creepy guy just falls over. I mean not a sound he just drops. The chick who was checking him in for the flight, doesn't bat an eye. Not only does she not bat an eye, but then says very calmly, "He's alright, if someone could find a doctor, he'll be alright." (OMG I heard someone really say Is there a Doctor in the house? I thought they only said that in movies.) Why Sea/Tac must you be so dramatic?
The guy who wreaked by the way. Attempted to get up a few times, succeeding in slamming his head into the back of the counter. It was not pretty, rather undignified really. Then I saw the crack in his ass, and I almost gagged. Why Sea/Tac, just why?
A doctor actually does come to the rescue! This ought to be on a sitcom somewhere. He's walks right past drunk and sexy and asks the boarding agent what's going on. Dude you just walk past it...
And as we speak everyone is taking pictures of the sunset. I love sunsets too but I've seen better. So I had to ask: "Is it because sunsets are so uncommon that everyone's taking pictures?" To me having been in Washington State for the past week, where for three of those six days I saw no sun, it's a rational question. Why did the woman look at me crazy?
Back to drunk and sexy, a few guys kindly get him to a seat, where he starts whining about his mother. Oh My Goodness. I can't make this shit up. No wonder I write fiction, the reality is a mess. When the paramedics and the police come, he vehemently denies that there's a problem. Lucky me, I got more FAIL stickers. Dude we can smell you...
Needless to say all the excitement and frustration (cause I never got on the earlier flight) coupled with extreme exhaustion (stayed up packing and repacking until 2am) triggers my craving. There are some moments in life that just should be experienced slightly intoxicated. This might have been one of them.