Friday, June 1, 2012

Friday Flash Fiction: Start The Day

Today's Flash Fiction comes to us as some really calm peaceful quiet thing. If I could see this every day, I think I'd be a very happy person.




Start The Day


"Hey want to make some coffee while I admire the view?" Will yawned. The hills called in a way that demanded Willy's attention this morning.

"I'd rather watch your face." Greg opened the small velvet box. "Wilhelmina, would you marry me?"

"You must be joking."

"I'm not." Greg hoped she wouldn't stall. She loved him, he knew this. Everyone they knew, knew this, except her.

"Greg, no."

"Why?"

"Because… I can't okay." Willy turned from the beautiful hills. They'd be forever ruined now. She placed her hands over her thickening belly. "This wouldn't be right, Greg."

"Because it's not my baby?"

She froze.

"I know it's not mine, Will. I love you anyway."







Can you freaking say no to that?


Join the Blog Hop on Twitter: #FridayFictioneers of the FB Page headed up by Madison Woods.

37 comments:

  1. What a brilliant twist I loved it and thanks for sharing :-)

    Here's mine in case anyone is interested: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-too-near-the-sun/

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    1. Thank's for coming by. I'm glad you like the twist.

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  2. This is so sweet :)

    http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-hills/

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    1. Yeah I'm getting soft. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving your link.

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  3. Aw. That's a good man right there! Romantic is right. :)

    My linky: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/the-beautiful-hush/

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    1. Thanks, I like yours better though, such imagery. Thanks for leaving your link.

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  4. This was a lovely romantic one. I really enjoyed it. I leave you the link to mine in case any of your readers would like to see it: http://marilynkaydennis.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/madison-woods-friday-fiction-waiting/

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    1. Thank you for stopping by. I think we need a little romance once in a while...

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  5. Great twist at the end! Loved it. Greg's a keeper. Here's my story. www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/kiss-me-sailor.html

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    1. Yes he is. Thank you for reading, I'm off to yours right now to read.

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  6. Whhhooooa! Nice job, didn't see it coming, had to read twice. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-5/

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    1. It was just a gentle twist nothing major. But thank you for reading and leaving your link. I'm clicking over to yours right now.

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  7. Dear Atiya,

    An old fashioned love story with a gem of a man for the bride to be (I hope). Very nicely done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/poliahu-at-dawn/

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    1. Thank you, he is a good man. Thank you for the picture as well. I'm off to look at yours right now.

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  8. So sweet. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/fridayfictioneers-my-pilot/

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    1. Thank you. I just read and commented on yours. What a great story.

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  9. That is so awesome! She had better say "yes!" What a great guy!! Sweet and nicely done!

    Thanks for commenting on mine. If anyone else is interested, they can find it here: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/

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    1. Thank you. If she doesn't say yes I think I'd take him, LOL. Thanks for leaving your link.

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  10. This gave me chills, Atiya. The man's a keeper and I hope she says 'yes'. What a great story!

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    1. I hope they were good chills Madison...

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  11. Well that certainly was s different take on them there hills! A lot of story in there told in just those 100 words. YOu've got a country and western heart in there somewhere!
    Yours as ever,
    Lindaura
    and for those who have not stopped by as yet, here I am:
    http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

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    1. Um thanks??? I have never personally embraced the country and western culture. I'm so much a city girl that wide open spaces freak me out. But if you found a country western tone in my story and it spoke to you, I can only hope it was in a good way. Thank you for dropping by and most definitely for leaving your link.

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  12. This is a beautiful love story.

    Mine is at http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/01/the-standpoint/

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    1. Thank you very much. Thanks also for returning the looksie, yours was funny. Missing the forrest for the tree there. I loved it.

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  13. I don't think I could say no to that. There was a moment when she looked to the hills and ran her hand over her belly I was reminded of Hemingway's 'Hills Like White Elephants', which was unutterably depressing. I like your couple much better. Thanks for stopping by, yesterday!

    Kathy
    http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/690/

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    1. Yeah neither could I. Thank you for the comparison, though I'm extra glad my short didn't depress. Thanks for returning the hop and leaving your link.

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  14. This is sweet! I rarely write anything that ends positively, so your piece is refreshing; no dark matter, just love. Nice job! -Monique Shante

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    1. Thanks Monique, I hope to see your short this Friday.

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  15. Wonderful job! I loved the surprise ending (love those anyway). Greg is some kind of guy and Will had better take him up on it. This would make a beautiful short story or even a novel.

    Thanks for stopping by and reading my not-so-romantic tale. http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com

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  16. BTW, thank you for your service in the Navy.

    Also, I love the name of your blog. You are going to remake yourself just fine. I can tell.

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    1. Thank you Beth, For both your comments. It's always good to hear encouragement. I hope I cross your Flash Fiction this Friday.

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  17. A very powerful story. My only suggestion is to leave out the "knew this" after "Everyone knew this" You could just put and em-dash or something and finish the sentence.

    Thanks for reading & commenting on mine.

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    1. You know I'm going to tweak that and see how it works, thanks for the advice. I try to catch your story every week sometimes I miss it, but I got lucky this time. I'm glad you returned the favor, Thanks.

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  18. Great story. Very sweet twist to the end. I've known a couple of men who could handle the situation, but they are few and far between.

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    1. I think this guy seriously wants to bring back the romantic hero. He's more than handling the situation, he is owning it. You are so right, very few and very far between. Thank you for dropping by.

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  19. What a fabulous story in 100 words, well done,I couldn't think of a single thing!

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    1. I was kind of stuck on this one too. If I can't think of one on the day the photo comes up I wait until I'm sleepy on Thursday night and write what ever comes up first. Then I spend another two hours making sense out of it. Sadly that happens more often that I'd like. Thank you for dropping by and commenting.

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