Thursday, June 28, 2012

Flash Fictioneer Friday: Berries and Pip

For once I actually got my story down to not 100 but 99 words! Yeah I'm awesome *wink
This week we have a truly lovely picture from Ms. Woods, which reminds me that I need to get my indoor herb garden situated. I want mint darnnit! But I'm getting off topic.


I challenge you to figure out where my inspiration for this week's offering comes from.






~ Pip saw the berries the first time last week. They were further up than he’d ever climbed before. He nervously groomed his nose while he made up his mind.

“Sweet looking berries there Pip” Bolo grunted as he nudged the young pup, just for nudging sake.
“They do look juicy, Bolo” Pip stammered.
Bolo tested the base of the the fruit heavy branch. “You’re small enough Pip. Go out and get em’, and you better not eat any of them.” 
Pip reached the berries just as Bolo squealed. The adder Pip escaped earlier, found it’s evening meal.
Pip smiled. ~



You can follow the Blog hop on Facebook,  Twitter #FridayFictioneers or right from the source over on Madison Woods.


Stay tuned for another entry over the weekend. I've got my hands on something NON-Fiction for once that just so happens to not have been published and I get to wax poetic all over it. 

20 comments:

  1. How cold and calculating. Kudos! Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/fridayfictioneers-seduction/

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    1. What's not here is that Bolo is a plague on young mice everywhere. Frankly I hate bullies, I'm glad he got it. Young Pip was working smarter not harder. I'm off to check yours right now. Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. I like your tale. Any story where a bully gets what's coming to them is worth reading. I wouldn't have been able to let it stand at 99 words. I'm a bit anal when it comes to making my stories exactly 100 words. I would have had to add another word in somewhere, which is easier said than done sometimes.

    Mine: http://adamickes.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/berry-tester/

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  3. Normally I'm the rule breaker with my shorts weighing in between 110 and 117 words. For me to get under 100, is a freaking break through.
    Thanks for reading and liking. I was hoping that the bully catching it, would go over well. I'm off to check out yours right now.

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  4. Revenge is a dish best served cold--and with wild raspberries! Excellent tale. Thanks for the comments on mine.

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    1. Thank you for reading. Yours was amazing, you know.

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  5. Oh, that Pip! Acting reluctant to make sure Bolo would send him after the berries?? And Bolo - paying no attention to real danger because he's having too much fun picking on somebody who looks weak.

    I hope you'll break down and tell us the inspiration - I'm trying and trying to figure it out without success. It's not the Fox and the Grapes, is it???

    My story - http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-summer-love/

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    1. Have you ever read anything by Brian Jacques? http://www.redwallabbey.com/ He has a children's series about abbey of peaceful mice who tended a beautiful forest. He passed away a while ago but his book are super rich to read even know.

      Thank you for reading.

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  6. Crafty, Pip! I liked your careful development here, and terse but telling dialogue. Nice story!

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  7. That was quite nasty! It's the second snake to upset me today. (There was a third one but it was just a rustle in the leaves, so I could pretend that it was something else.) As the saying goes, who needs enemies when you have friends like this? My story's on the list.

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    1. I'll be sure to check it out. Hopefully this snake didn't give you too much of a start. I'm glad you stopped by thank you for reading.

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  8. Issue a challenge and I fail miserably...

    Pip made me think Dickens (was it "Great Expectations") but then, he was a dog, and I thought "I'm sure there must have been a Pip dog in something Disney-ish" so I was thinking movies — either "All Dogs Go to Heaven" or "Oliver & Company" and then you introduced the adder, so I was thinking "Aladdin" and Cleopatra, and then I thought, "No, that was an asp," and then thought, maybe "Black Adder"? And from the number of TV shows and movies that made the list, I feel like I really should spend more time reading!

    They aren't Pound Puppies, are they?

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    1. I was feeling Mossflower Wood and Redwall Abbey this week. Something about the berries made me think of mice. Go figure. Than you dropping by.

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  9. I didn't see that coming! Survival of the smartest. And I failed miserably at your challenge, too!
    Thanks for your comment on ours, we appreciated it.

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    1. Any time. I'm starting to think Brian Jacques wasn't as popular as I thought. But there are a million authors out there so I can't be mad. Thanks for stopping by.

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  10. A little Rudyard Kipling-ish. Enjoyed it and congratulations on doing it under 100 words!

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    1. Thanks Rochelle, I guess there's a first time for everything. 99 words just rocks. Sadly I've never read Kipling. I'm sure that will get changed sometime soon. You know what else I haven't done? Watched Doctor Who. Apparently my life is incomplete according to the Sci-fi community. Thanks for coming by.

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  11. Ha! So I guess Pip smiled because then he could eat all the berries he wanted? Great little tale and your characters had lots of personality. I went over 100 this week and you came in right below!

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  12. Ha! Maybe it was the moon on Thursday.

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