Thursday, August 23, 2012

Friday Fictioneer: The Living Mist

This week's Fictioneer Photo Prompt comes from Maggie Duncan. A member of e-Fiction and the woman who first introduced Friday Flash Fiction to me.

This picture brings back the Tia we all know and love. No sugary sweet love stories here. 

By Maggie Duncan
The Living Mist


It rolled in last week covering the shores, then it made its way past the buildings that pretended to be the port. By the time it covered the fields, forests and meadows, the country was in full scale panic. It circled the city and all the land around it, every mossy covered rock and stream.

The mist thickened just like the little girl asked. She was such a sweet girl and it would do anything to please her. She just wanted to get away from the mean people in town. Pretty soon, the mist would take it all away. 

For more of the Blog Hop of the Friday Fictioneers you can head over the Facebook and check out the page. On Twitter #FridayFictioners. Or you can go to Madison Woods for the rules and see a list of Fictioneer contributors and click on them at random. Happy Reading


21 comments:

  1. Very scary. The concept of things summoned up by children is really unnerving. Well done.

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    1. I know what you mean. I've been seeing a lot of television like that recently. Thanks for coming by.

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  2. Sounds like horror movie (maybe Japanese) waiting to happen!! Scary in a low-level way that builds as you think about it.

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    1. Exactly. Something you don't really think about until the issue becomes too much to ignore.

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  3. Nothing more dangerous than an angry child with power.Ever see the Twilight Zone episode entitled "It's a Good Life"? A classic and the creepiest one they made IMHO. An entire town completely cowed by one 6 year old boy.
    Anyway, said all that to say your story was chillingly well written. Not to mention the POV was intriguing. Good job, Atiya.
    Mine's here http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/

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    1. I think someone was telling me about that episode, but I never got to see it. What I have seen was an episode of Supernatural where a family was held hostage by their nine year old daughter. The daughter was possessed by a super demon. It was a pretty good episode. Thanks for leaving the link. I'll take a look right now.

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  4. A chilling story nicely told. You could do with a little edit, though. The first line of the first paragraph; 'the' should be 'it'. Thank you. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/fridayfictioneers-light-on-the-hill/

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    1. Good catch. Thank you for seeing that.

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  5. Very nice! Sometimes you just have enough, and if you're lucky to be able to control the weather... I agree; just a little minor editing, but nicely done.

    Here's mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/pillar-of-salt/

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    1. It would be great to control the weather. Too bad the sweet little girl has no idea the gift of control she has. I check out your story already and I loved it. Thanks for dropping by. I've already fixed that error mentioned above, it was a very good catch.

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  6. Perhaps she will learn after the mean people are gone that she has that gift. Well done.
    My offering this week can be found at yaralwrites.com

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    1. I'll be sure to check yours out. The thing about this story is if, the little girl figures it out will she ask the mist to bring it back or she will ever figure it out. hhmmm

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  7. OOh. I like this underlying concept. Alot. Nice.

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    1. Thanks, the panic or the slave like devotion to a little girl? I like the mist as malevolent because it has to be.

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  8. I'm really digging this, Atiya. I'd love to see this as something longer.

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    1. When I have time I might work on it. It might actually even work in my book if I ever get past Chapter 9. Thanks for commenting.

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  9. Maybe once she gets rid of all the nasty, evil people in her life, she will learn to use her special gift for good. I'd like to see her go to Haiti or Syria and help those poor innocent refuges. Nice work, Atiya. I'm #36 on the list.

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