10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Uh What???

 I haven't written much over the Holidays. It's not that I've been out partying, neither have I been wallowing in sadness for being away from my family. I've been adjusting, this adjusting just happens for fall during Christmas and New Years. I've moved out of my home in Muira Kaigan. My lovely fortress of Solitude, is now just an empty house in Japan. It's part of the process of getting out of the Military. As long as I serve, the Navy will provide housing. Since I'm not serving anymore I have to move.  Oh sad face, sad face, what will I do now? 

I'm not panicking I am one step closer to getting to California. While I sit in a barracks room surrounded by cheap college dorm room furniture, I'm going to try and not gag. Sharing a bathroom is not how I planned on spending my New Year.  I also did not plan of spending my New Years completely sober. If you asked me six months ago what my plans for New Years were, I'd tell you that I'd be stupid drunk and singing Karaoke at the top of my lungs and tongue kissing random Japanese strangers. Cue euphoric recall, good times. Well that what I did last New Years anyway…

This year I should start with  resolution. I should think long and hard about what I should do to change or improve my life. I should, really I should, that's what everyone does right? Well not this one right here. Ms.Townes has outright refused to make a resolution. I'm making enough changes as it is. You can go make a resolution, sure say you're going to get to the gym more, or that you'll finally get up the nerve to ask for that raise you totally deserve. You can even say that you'll date better quality men, or that you'll make a budget and actually stick to it. Maybe you will finally take time off and go on that vacation you always wanted. What ever it is I hope you succeed in it. In my capacity to support you I might even remind you of it sometime later. But for me, I'm not making a promise that might get pushed to the back burner until next New Years.

As for this move, well I'll have to move two more times before I land. I'm not looking forward to it. The end result though is so worth it. I just hope I find a place to stay. If I have to look at more cheap polyester furniture I may scream. I miss my couch already.



**Shortly after the New Year began for the east coast of the United States, Japan AND Ohio were struck by a 4.0 earthquake.  How creepy is that? Two places roughly the same time frame having exactly the same magnitude! I just happened to be sitting in Starbucks next to three guys playing Skyrim. These guys didn't even look up from their computers. 

The Argument of Dating Below Your Standards or Why Beautiful Women Date Ugly Men

I'm assed out for a topic today. Yes I just said that. I know that I have not posted very consistently  over the Holiday, so I wanted something really really good.

I figured I take to the web to see what was out there. Lo and behold another question about WHY women date________________.  For guys reading this here's my disclaimer: I'm a chick and I don't know. Unlike Whitney Houston and The Legendary Chaka Khan, I am NOT every woman. It is NOT all in me.

Why beautiful women date ugly men? I searched Google (where else would I go?). Then for kicks I went on Youtube. Between these two sites you should be able to find the answer to anything. New York Magazine said it's because women feel more secure with an ugly man. Basically since he knows he's ugly he'll never leave you.

Ladies if you want that kind of devotion, go to the local animal shelter. It's okay no one you know will see you there. Peek in the cage, see the thing with four legs and huge trusting eyes? It's called a dog, pick one up today.

The same article in NY Mag explained it pretty well though, “When you date an ugly guy who’s smart and interesting, you think you’re getting a good deal. You’re getting him on sale. You think an ugly guy will be more grateful and treat you better.” Made me think of buying shoes. I love buying shoes...


That's something to think on. But I had to get another point of view. So I found an article from Billdoll.com written by self proclaimed ugly man (poor schmuck). He goes a little bit deeper into that "He'll never leave you" notion. He gets right down to the fact that beautiful women are high maintenance. In order to feel as beautiful as they look, they date someone uglier than them to make them for secure about themselves. How awful. He put it rather crudely that women in general would prefer a toad at her feet. Personally I like the one about getting him on sale better. But same point.


Poor Schmuck also offered a few more reasons like: If the woman was or is a Daddy's girl then the woman will like him good looks or not if he reminds her of her father. I've heard this before in Yes Sean Connery. I can buy this, because I am a Daddy's girl. My dad has a great sense of humor, I can tell him anything no matter how off the wall and he'll completely relate. I look for these qualities in the guys I've dated. I know a few women who do the same. Or if she hated her father she'd look for qualities that her father doesn't have. I can get behind that idea.


I liked Poor Schmuck's article, he  also said that there are more beautiful women in the world than men. Something that has to do with math. Man I hate math. Basically it's impossible for all women to compete for the same type of man. We do anyway, but that's just my opinion. One more from Poor Schmuck them I must move on. Ugly men are better in bed. Holy cow we hit gold on this one!


I have a filthy mind, and I like to talk with like minded women. Whenever the topic of The Ugly Man comes up, conversation just gets dirty. Mom cover your eyes. The merits of the ugly man's prowess in and out of bed  has heads turning, panties flying, and women rushing to 24 hour convenience stores the world over. In other words the ugly man is the sexual equivalent of an Olympic Gold Metal gymnasts.


Youtube, has a few videos about this topic. The fact that I had to sit through some of these videos should make you pity me right now. One stood out by angierandomstuff, she said that most ugly men are nicer, yadda yadda yadda... same stuff NY magazine and Poor Schmuck said.  She also said women would tend to find an ugly man, to pretty much stomp all over him. Usually, the words push over are written in sharpie ink on his fore head. I had to think of this, I admit, the last time I dated a pushover was after I'd been dumped by someone who treated me down right bad. Sorry Rebound Guy it's nothing to do with you, unless you let it happen.


But what killed me and why I even have to mention youtube is the response to her video. Akwesi100, who is not ugly in my opinion, basically stood up for ugly men everywhere and said that no woman, no matter how beautiful should be able to walk all over a man. Then he just spins off on his rant, but good start. Stay strong, black man, you stay strong.


I'm not a professional when it comes to dating, heck I'm not even dating right now. I do know that when you're in a relationship with someone, it needs to be for the right reasons. The right one is not going to fit into any one category, old, ugly, smart, funny, brooding, or eccentric. The ONE is going to your perfect combination of all the qualities you like. It's going to be a partnership that surpasses all the other crap you've ever experienced. 

Work Work Work

Yeah here I am on Christmas Eve, working. Why not, its not like I have any family here in Japan to celebrate with... I digress

Chapter 2 of The New God is posted to Google Docs, my website,  and on Wattpad.  If I dream up any other convenient way to let you all view my work I'll let you know.
Merry Christmas

Let me leave you with a little Christmas humor,

4 Quick Tips To Help Make Your #Novel Successful by Tim LaBarge (Guest Post by @enwritened)

4 Quick Tips To Help Make Your #Novel Successful by Tim LaBarge (Guest Post by @enwritened)

Technology Rocks!!!

The great thing about technology is the ability to have things changed instantly. I only say this because the folks over at eFiction have graciously chopped the two stories I placed on Google Docs. These folks have saved me some serious money and time. Think of how bad this would have been if, I'd waited until the book was done, printed, then mailed it to some editor so they could chop it and send it back at cost to me? How other authors of the past did this over and over, is totally no bueno.

I forget who said it in one of their blogs but, "its a great time to be a writer." And as I learn the ins and outs of this business, I'm finding more and more that it is. Motherfugnwriters got to the heart of my problem mentioned here  and so a change of scenery was all I needed to get my juices flowing again. Now, if it weren't for technology where would I be? Stuck thats what. Isn't it grand? Chapter two of The New God is about to wrapped up thanks to that tidbit. 

It is, don't deny it, you know you love it. 

On the future move, I'm not so lucky. I check the sites often and come up lacking with the search for an affordable place in San Diego. I'm taking it well I'd like to think. I understand, there is a process in these things. Being in the Military for almost six years, trust me I know about processes. My alcoholic (and I'd like to think resourceful) self would look for ways to circumvent this process in order to focus on what needs to happen. IE starting school, getting the book out, maybe get a dog… But if I stay positive and keep reaching out as I have been and maybe a little more, I really think I'll be okay. Don't get me wrong, there is a real possibility that I will be homeless, and accordingly I'm freaking out. I just feel that with the money I have saved I will be okay.

OverMuchly Wonders is about to get a new title. Right now it has title: unfinished. The title doesn't match the story it's turning out to be. Truly the title seems "whimsical" I'm finding I don't do whimsical. Cue the Goremance, such a cool word. Anyhoo, I posted that to Google docs as well and that poor thing got massacred. In a good way, in a good way, I promise.

A Pack of Camels and some Fruity Collon...

So I smoke. Yes I know a terrible habit and I should quit. Blah Blah Blah... But as I was staring at my pack of cigarettes I noticed something. Unless I'm mistaken the package has the Great Pyramids of Giza on them. Camels say they used Turkish and domestic tobacco, so why is there a pyramid and a camel their mascot? I've been to Turkey and Egypt, neither one look anything like a pack of Camels.

That was just a random for you.

Over on Google+ there was this freakishly awesome post about Curly Balls.
Apparently this is a great snack in France. So the comments were all kinds of innuendo filled zingers referring to parts of the human anatomy. Who could resist some yummy Curly Balls???







Not to be topped by the French I had to counter with a snack I found in Japan. Introducing, Fruity Collon:

Also try Chocolate Collon!!!!

You gotta love international quirks...

Today I decided to devote my time to a short story. Not So Picture Perfect. This is about an artist who finds some kind of human/sea creature hybrid knocked out inside a wrecked boat that washed ashore. It promises to be dirty. Lets face folks all my stories are dirty, and gory. I want to make this pretty short. Nothing too elaborate, girl meets thing, girl tries to hide thing, thing tries to change for girl, every one lives happily ever after and has little sea creature babies. There will be gore in this, trust me I can make this happen. 

Why they come up gory I have no idea. I actually talked about this to my therapist last week. Together we invented the new genre: GOREMANCE. I'm sure someone has already made this up. But my stories, when I ever get time to finish, would fit nicely into this category.

If anyone has time to check out other stories by writers you've never heard of, check out efictionmag.com, or gather.com. If you're looking to get you're own stuff out there you can upload submissions there too.

P.S.

If you have tried to make a comment and found that you could not, PLEASE email me awtownes@gmail.com. I've been tinkering with this and I hope I've worked that issue out. If not you know what to do.

A short note. And maybe a shameless plug

I got my walking papers. I'm so happy, and I read some super blogs today. I'll post them below. Now commences the rush to find an apartment. Then a celebratory plate of chips and salsa!

I was talking to a few people and I may have to pick some place other then San Diego. Sad Face :( As much as I would love to go there, it looks more and more like I may not be able to afford it. Super Sad Face:(( So I shall enlist your help people to direct your's truly to some place warm and cheap on the west coast.

Awesome blog I stumbled on today, Terrible Minds. This guy Chuck I think gave a great list of ways writers can help each other. I'm glad I happened across this because I was beginning to think that in the vastness of the internet, I'll never connect with anyone. Even though I subscribe to efiction and Wattpad, I still seem to be fumbling. Strangely I feel okay about being so green at this writing thing. It was only recently that I took my hobby so seriously. But here's what Chuck had to say, I think it was his good deed for the month or something. 25 Ways for Writers to Help Other Writers

Hows that for a shameless plug, huh, huh??? Aye nice riight...

Dude We're in the Med!!!

I remember one of the greatest days in my career. It was in 2009, and I was in the Red Sea. I came on the bridge of the ship, the USS San Antonio, and we were about to set a detail. A Detail is another name for an operation that is usual but comes with a higher risk to all personnel  concerned. The detail we were setting was a trip through the Suez Canal. This was nearing the end of our maiden deployment, by this time we'd accomplished so much that the only danger we'd have would probably be from the shores on either side. Without going into specifics  of what we all do to prepare for this, let me tell you, there's a lot of prep work.

We started early, my whole shop would be on hot standby, even the night watchman who was just relieved. Before the sun fully rose over the Red Sea, my ship and some others lined up and entered the 101 mile canal. People who know about this kind of transit, know immediately what a nerve wrecking experience this can be. 

For laymen picture this: Get four or five Hot Wheel cars. Line then them up equal distance behind one another. Then on either side of the cars create a space one car width wide all the way throughout and call it the shore. Then make it really really curvy. Then with what every thing you can find make the areas behind the shore markers hostile territory. Now scale that to the size of any US Navy Vessel. That's what it feels like to go through the Suez Canal.

Now back to the Red Sea. We entered the Canal from the south as this was thankfully our exit trip. On the other end was and still is the Mediterranean Sea. To us it, if we made it safely through to the Med, we would be going home. Not that there would be a chance that we'd have to go back, or that there was not a threat in the Med, it was just that getting to the Med was a big deal. 

Before us, the Quartermasters, lay every paper chart we'd need to get through. Out the glass that surrounded the the bridge lay nothing but ship, sea and miles of sand on either side. There were places in the Suez that are so narrow that you could throw a rock and it'd land on the other side. There are places in the Suez so shallow that if you weren't careful you could beach the ship. On the shores are monuments and statues that constantly remind us of how different our live back home are from this. There is a monument  on the banks of the Suez that looks like a 40 foot tall AK-47. Another if I remember correctly another monument looks like a giant hunting knife. There are a few times through out my short career where I've been really concerned for my life. This was one of those times.

A jeep follows us along the western shore. From my vantage point this is our only escort. It rides along a distance then stops at a checkpoint where another jeep picks up the job. There are armed men very few miles standing by with an orange flag, as if to mark the Kilometers. That's all there is to look at: miles of sand and the ass of the ship in front of us. The jeep kicks up dust around the sentry as it passes by. Nothing, just nothing to see, we're all tense expecting the worse.

For a moment we began to drift out of our line and the bank suddenly rushes towards us from the right.  The QM on the table immediately responds and we all jump in and assists him. The ships gets back in line after some quick actions from everyone on the bridge. That actually took off some of the edge, people start to find their grove. It was bound to happen on a long detail. The detail dragged on all day.

When we switched charts the last time I was so glad. The temperature had dropped a little and the sun would be going down shortly. We didn't care, we wanted this part of our trip behind us. We were all ready to relax, some to sleep, and some to eat. Most of us just wanted to be anywhere but on our stations. Then we were exiting. The ship in front of us altered it's course and passed a farewell greeting over the air.  The San Antonio was free to maneuver not long after that.

As I looked at the Med for the first time in almost five months my first reaction was mild shock. I thought, we're out, meh! Then I looked out the window at the horizon. I wish I had my camera. The sky was between shades of white grey and blue. There was a brisk wind coming from the port bow. There was a serious chop to the sea that literally changed from green to blue the further from the mouth of the Suez. It was surreal like something you'd only see in a movie that was heavy on the CG. Even that air was different. My next feeling was just wonder, awe. I have always liked looking out into the ocean, and here I was just completely  breathless at the view.   

One of the officers on the bridge turned towards the chart table where the shop had gathered. He was all smiles and high fives. He kept saying, "Dude we're in the Med."  I have a hard time putting into words even today what getting to the Mediterranean Sea meant to me. It was like a great weight being lifted from our collective shoulders. It was worth a celebratory cigarette on the smoke deck. It was a good feeling. That day made me love my job. That day makes me miss my job, and the sea.

Writers Block

I've been having a little writer's block when it comes the books. I'm having a moment, that clearly is  lasting longer than a moment, that seems to be taking over the part of my brain which loves making stuff up. Maybe it has to do with the talk with my uncle this weekend. Maybe it's the Holidays and I haven't put up the tree, maybe I've been too busy trying to market myself and haven't put forth much effort on the books.

One at a time let's look. Talked to my Uncle J this weekend; I read an excerpt from the back story of the twins part of The New God. He said it was too wordy. What is this too wordy? He elaborated a bit more and Ms. Townes was not a happy camper. I should post the Twins so you all can read it. Not that I don't value his opinion, I do, I'd just hate to be wrong. Plus it hurt just a little.

The Holidays are here and Japan is not excused from it. There are Christmas Trees all over the place and the KFC dressed up the statue of the Colonel in a Santa outfit. I'm told that I could get orders to move any day now. Hence I haven't even put my Christmas wreath on my door. In the back of my mind I keep hearing put up the tree, but then I don't want to have to take it down and re-pack it. Call it lack of Christmas Spirit.

Maybe I have been too busy trying to market myself to do any actual work on the books. I'm not sure. Maybe I'm spending too much time waiting on something that might not happen. Perhaps I'm looking for someone to show more interest in my stories to spur me into action. Perhaps I should go out and take a few pictures this coming weekend instead of sitting down in my office?

That sounds like a great idea actually. I'll take my big girl camera and my little girl one too and see what I find. I'll download a few new albums from Itunes then see what crops up.

One more thing! Yesterday after I posted my entry I suffered and attack of unwarranted fear.  I debated AFTER the fact about whether or not I should be discussing my personal problems with Alcoholism in such a public manner. I debated taking the post down. I even went to an AA chat site and asked them their opinion. By the end of the night and into this morning. I came to the conclusion that by taking down the post it would seem that I'm ashamed for writing about it.

Well I refuse to be ashamed that I am a recovering alcoholic. I realized this might be the equivalent of social suicide. Let's face it, this blog only get 25 hits daily. I'm not reaching a lot of people. Mostly the visitors are people I know in and out of the Navy and from other stages in my life. So I'm really thankful to be sharing a piece of myself with you. When I finish my book, I'll have all of you to thank.

Remaking Me: can I change?

Went to AA today. Read the account of Bill W. the man who wrote the twelve steps. He's got an interesting story. He says in the last few paragraphs of his story that "An alcoholic in his cups is and unlovely creature." Being the wonderful person I am, and an alcoholic I think that of course can't be me. I'm all types of awesome, there's nothing unlovely about me. When really that's not true.

What makes me pause is that he's willing for the benefit of suffering alcoholics every where, to examine how he thought of himself. At first before he thought he had a problem he could have conquered the world. Then when he hit his bottom he wallowed in self pity. Truthfully I have spent hours, if not days, going over my faults and found myself lacking. To everyone else though I tried to have the appearance of a person with some level of control over myself. I do this so I can say that I am all types of awesome. My struggle with being an alcoholic is all about finding the balance between saying I'm all types of awesome and believing, then proving that I am.

How does one make awesome happen? Well with work, lots of it, and not just a marketing strategy. I have to work at several things: letting go my anger, being humble, being of service with out expecting gratitude and allowing myself to be vulnerable.  Things that in my opinion are just not part of my "plan".  In particular being vulnerable, I've got a wall so high and so thick that it might take years before I allow that to happen. Years.

I'm not going to go into detail about how I got to this point. Seriously, that's like, asking for someone to make a joke in poor taste. The point is I have reached a level in my life where things need to change. With four months sober things are actually changing! Surprise!!!! Hopefully they keep on changing. As I work through the 12 Steps with lots of help from within and outside of AA, I will be the person I say I am. As if all this awesome could get better (oh course it can).

Yes Sean Connery

Dating older man is not something I'd readily do, unless he was Sean Connery or the Most Interesting Man in the World.  And do you know why; because he's Sean Connery and he's the Most Interesting Man in the World. Seriously  back on planet earth I decided to ponder this. What attracts younger women to older men? Having never dated and man more than five years my senior I had to go look this up.

Woman Dating Advice says that it is because of older men's maturity level. They go on to say that; older men have had years to hone their skills at listening to women and know exactly what to say to make women feel special. I could see that, but I'm still skeptical. I've seen the old man in the club one too many times to think it that's the sole reason.

Some random blog I found said it was because of an older man's wealth. Said Sugardaddydating he offers security where a young man is still trying to establish himself.  Having been a success the older man has a confidence in himself that women don't ignore.  This I can agree with, dating a man who is still living with his parents can be a cramp on a blossoming relationship. As is a man who has no faith in himself.

Another article I found said it was manners. I could argue that this should go along with maturity, but chivalry is a dying art.  Some younger men do have it but not all, and most older men don't think twice about pulling out a chair for his date. Chivalry comes in so many forms that a younger woman accustomed to men her own age would be overwhelmed.

Several articles said that older men are more worldly and do not mind playing the mentor. It's mutually beneficial as the younger woman makes the older man feel you again and the younger woman gets to live out her hot for teacher fantasy. (Here is where I gag. Gross.) Some even went as far as saying that some women look for a replacement father figure in and older man. (Double Gross)

My personal favorite comes from broowaha.com, out of the 50 reasons why young women date older men numbers 18,29,34,38,43 and 47 are the best.  It is a very crass list but someone had to say it.

So I gathered that older men are: wealthier, better listeners, more chivalrous, and don't mind educating the youth. I'm going to wave the malarkey flag here. In this day and age I have met some truly chivalrous men my auger even younger. I have friends who don't have to work (I'm so jealous of them right now). I also have guy friends who not only listen to my latest problem but actually offer sound advice. As for being a mentor, well, every one can teach you something. You just have to listen.

As for why I'd date Sean Connery and the Most Interesting Man in the World, I think it's the beard.   

Ink, Ink and More Ink...

There's nothing like getting something new. In this case it's a new piece of art work. I love art, I love that it convey's feelings in everyone. Well unless you're a robot, then, carry on smartly. This new work is the third of it's kind for me. It's a scarab.

The Scarab also know as Khepri, is an ancient Egyptian god. He represents rebirth, renewal, or rejuvenation. To me that means change. In the times of the Egyptians a scarab amulet was placed on a mummy at burial to assist the soul in the underworld. In some dynasties of the egyptians, rulers would attach Khepri or some form of the name to theirs symbolizing their transformation. 

So I have taken on the symbol of the scarab as a marker of significant changes in my life.  This would be the third one. It was done by Ryuta at La Vida Loca Tattoo. This change has been the topic many times since the beginning of this blog. Yes I will again remind everyone that Ms. Townes is leaving the Navy. Like many sailors before and after me, I've marked myself. It's a part of a tradition, like knowing all the words to Anchors Aweigh.

So I invite all to view it; Feel free to comment about it. If you're not a fan of tattoos, please don't look. You will only upset yourself, and I don't want you upset. My royal WE-ness likes happy folk.   

Tattoo tattoo, Lights Out in Five Minutes

My stay in lovely Japan will soon be over so I decided to devote this entry to that land of the Rising Sun. Below are the things that I've decided that will stay with me even though I'm going away.

Rice- Personally I hated rice until I could buy it already made prepared as in such a manner that other rice is just inferior.
Vending Machines- It's amazing that on a solitary stroll down a quite street you'd find the most polite vending machine all by itself. When you put your money in it, it greets you. When you remove your beverage, it thanks you like you've done this thing the greatest favor ever. Sometimes if you're lucky it even gives you back your money if you get all the numbers to match.

Automatic Toilets- This one I'm not too sure I'm really going to miss completely. The heated seat is a keeper. The bidet function does not give me the warm and fuzzys; In fact it's gives me an entirely different sensation.

Passmo Cards- One of the many transportation cards that every commuter should have. Passmo cards can be used on non Passmo transportation, as well at most convenient stores, some cabs, major restaurants in the vicinity and vending machines.

100 Yen Stores- Depending on which one you go to, there's a variety of things or doodads or nic-nacks that can be found at a 100 Yen store. Once last year I made a killing on porcelain dishes, glasses and bowls.

Public Service Announcement Trucks- These can be heard randomly through out the day passing along all types of valuable information. Too bad I can't speak the language. A cute little tune plays before every notice. The first time I heard it I ran outside thinking there was an ice cream truck was around.

Ready buttons at restaurants- When you need something from your dinner attendant all you do is press the button and a person responds cheerfully. I think and I could be wrong, that it's set up this way so that the waiter does not intrude on your privacy.


I could go on but I'm rather tired and I have a truly exciting day planned. Be well folks, and good night.

Am I Geeky enough for Geek?

Define GEEK: I only ask because I just got labeled this illustrious title. I don't feel geeky, what does geeky feel like? Who knows… Dictionary.com defines it as: an unfashionable or socially inept person. It also defines it as a person with an eccentric devotion to a particular interest. Does that make me a geek? Speaking with one of my friends from my last ship landed me in this quagmire. I should feel something other than revulsion to being called one, but I don't.

I do have some geeked-ified tendencies though. I like Anime but who doesn't? I love trashy mass produced romance novels; they're like chocolate for your brain. Will I ever end up at some convention? For now I'm going to say no. The future is a bit unwritten.

The geek however is not as bad as my knee jerk reaction.  There is a thing called "Geek Chic", says Wikipedia.com, that "the Geek" is even fashionable. Here I know exactly what it's referring to. The funny glasses and stripy sweaters. But that's only the surface. Wiki goes deeper:

To geeks themselves, the term is used for "reclaiming the geek identity as something not only  meaningful, but also stylish."[8] - for this usage, more than mere spectacle frames are required, and so the term has a wider remit, being applied to home furnishings[9] and objects as well as oufits. In this usage, the term "geek chic" can even be used as a positive contrast to the somewhat more negative term "geeky".[10]

Now back to my friend Wade, who is a self proclaimed geek himself. In a Facebook chat he describes himself as a well rounded old world individual as well as a computer geek. He went on to describe the person he'd like to aspire to as knowledgeable on many different topics. That made me pause: if that's his version of geekdom, then sign me up. I picture and old man in a sweater vest, a fabulously cut blazer, a Kangoo hat, and some truly top of the line casual shoes. Kind of like that old man on the Dos Equis ads:  Stay Thirsty My Friends. BTW the Dos Equis website has a bunch of video clips that are just hilarious. I'm getting off topic here.

Geek doesn't seem too bad these days. With all the serious geeks we use to poke fun at ten to fifteen years ago are all some kind wealthy beyond reason now, you have to wonder. Is eccentric devotion really all that bad? With the devolving of social etiquette is being socially inept really truly that terrible? I can't answer that. Though we have come some serious miles since Revenge of the Nerds.

So I'll push my glasses back up my nose with pride. Not because I'm a geek though.

The Website is killing me.

I added some things to the website today. I wish I could make that site better. But regardless, with out a professional on hot standby, the site is what is is. You can check that out here's the address:Read This by Tia Townes.

Earlier, I had my hair done today. As usual my hair dresser wants to cut my hair. I need to cut it, but I have a problem letting go. As we were talking she asked what I planned to do after the Military. So glad you asked was my reply. I went on to tell her about the New God and OverMuchly Wonders. I also mentioned the blog and my hopes for it.

Turns out that Wilca, the stylist, has a degree in literature for two different languages. I'm telling you someone is on my side!

In OverMuchly Wonders, the main character is preggers. I know nothing about being pregnant. Like a good little researcher i went to the NEX to see what they had in their book section on maternity, and maybe a For Dummies on webpages. I scored on two that look promising enough to be authentic for my needs. I was hoping that know one I knew saw me buying these two books. I don't want them or anyone else for that matter to get the wrong idea. came you picture how that would have went down? I'd rather not think on it too much.

Tomorrow the plan is to get with my sponsor. I owe her my fourth step. I don't expect it to be perfect, not by a long short. The idea behind doing the twelve step program is that you have to continue to do every step over and over as you progress through your recovery. Since recovery is life long, or until I pick up the bottle again (I hope not) I don't want to have it perfect. My sponsor says that I've taken too much time on it anyway. Her goal is to have completed this step before I leave Japan. I believe I can do that.

I'm watching you Mr. Paper Trail...

The agony of waiting. My eminent departure hovers near. Whooaa scary. I should be scared shite-less if it weren't for the fact that I've been waiting to get off this island for almost two months now. I'm not in a hurry, I've said that before, but that's because I hate change(and math, screw you math!). So I'm partaking in the circus called paperwork. The Navy like any other large corporation is bogged down by the infamous villain called the paper trail.  This vile creature lurks in offices and work centers everywhere, even home offices and class rooms. It's only goals are to kill time, money and to disappear at critical moments. 

So here I am waiting, for paperwork. I picture picture  hunched over men with pencil thin mustaches and bowler hats every time I think of my orders. Mr. Paper Trail gleefully rubs his gray gloved hands together, knuckle to palm over and over, snickering to himself when ever he invents some new way to drag out a process. I can almost hear the snarly nasal chuckles. Kind of like every villain from old Hanna Barbara cartoons. I'm on to you Mr. Trail. I'm watching you.

I ventured forth today hoping on hope that today would be just like yesterday. Yesterday put the fag in Fabulous. Say it with me ya'll. FABULOUS!!!! Today was like taking a bunch on downer pills from that kid who has ADHD. I met with the VA representative today. This guy is either really stupid or so smart the average sailor just can't comprehend him. He says to me that I may not be eligible for  benefits due a veteran because there is no official record of my first Honorable Discharge. Mind you I'm sitting in his office with my Honorable Discharge award, my Re-enlisted Contract and my Certificate of Re-enlistment.  Since I've been in for almost six years now and contributed to the GI Bill, I think I'm entitled.

No, he argues with the surety of any Southern Baptist preacher, unless I was issued a DD-214 with these other supporting documentation, I am not eligible. Mr. Paper Trail Strikes again. I have to wait on this discharge to see what general code it will be to get a final yea or nay from the VA.  hey that rhymes! But don't fret he says, because after six months you can petition to upgrade your discharge for benefits reasons. Six months, what the heck am I supposed to do for six months??? I vote a big what-ev's on that. It's not that I don't care, I'm just not too big on people taking time out my day to tell me I'm sitting in a pile of poo. Thanks guy I didn't know that, do you mind running along and returning with a shovel? No? Right then, be off with you. As the 212 friends on Facebook.com would say, SMDH (Shake My Damn Head)!     

Clearly this day could not possibly get worse, right? One can only hope. I went in to work after the meeting with VA Guy. No one seemed to be around. I shook off the notion and hunkered down in the storage room and waited for someone to muster me. I break out my trusty notebook and begin writing my short. Two hours goes by and still, no one musters me. That's fine, my main character just found out she's pregnant. Heck: I didn't know either until I wrote it. I can't complain that I got two blessedly quiet hours to write. I can't complain about that; but I can complain about that fact that I showed up twenty minutes after the rest of the gang was let off for the day. The guy at the front desk just failed to mention that. I could have just came home.

Like all blessings that come my way it has layers good and bad. On one hand I stayed on base two hours more than I needed to be. On the other hand not only did I get two hours of decent writing done, I also caught up with a bunch of people from the ship, and managed to collect some packages. For that I had to wait another hour, but it was for mail. 

I love getting packages. Especially shoes, I love shoes. Thanks to the Postal Service to ships in the east Pacific, these shoes I got today, were ordered four months ago. So to me it's like getting a Christmas present. Oh joy! not one pair, but two and they're like, pin-up girl sexy. There's more, a pair of jeans, a dress and a jacket. I don't remember ordering any of this crap. My day shot through the meter after that.

I figure I need to start advertising. What better way to advertise on my blog than with stuff i actually own? I do have a shoe fetish. When I'm sad I go window shopping at the shoe section of any store. I always feel better after trying on a pair or five. What do you people think? Maybe I should go with something more common to every one. Maybe this will be the next question for the poll. What advertisement(s) should I have on my page? Women's shoes or something geared towards my love of writing, or something else? You decide, you are my audience and I want to hear from you. Drop me a note and don't forget to vote.

Some Pictures Last Night

I don't really have much to say right now, I'm just putting up a few pictures. Next post I'll go over the last AA meeting I went to, the who-ha-ha that is my discharge process, the progress on the short that's starting to look long, and the web site that's still not up.

Look for it later. Meanwhile, here's something to gaze upon adoringly while I put my thoughts together.

Don't forget to vote at the Poll, down the bottom of the Blog.

OverMuchly Wonders

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Dear Math

Today in a fit of progressive lolly gagging I came across something so poignant that not only was it shared on facebook.com (awtownes@gmail.com) and google+ but I had to share it here. Because you know every little thing must be shared even, how much time I spend on the pooper. I will never talk about that though. Thank you very much.

Anywhoo. The best note ever...

 As one with a deep respect and fear of Math I believe I join in with the crowd when we say "We Hate You!" As long as I know the difference between a $30 Pedicure and a $50 pedicure and how to spot the difference; I'm happy. Not that I have the money for one these days.

Trashy Mass-Produced Romance Novels

I've got this thing for trashy mass produced romance novels, I love them. They are like literary junk food for your brain. I should be reading something more along the lines of what I'm supposed to be writing; I prefer this stuff. I find myself leaning towards the fantasy side; where one or both of the characters are not human. There always seems to be some kind of struggle and there is never a happy ending with out some kind of loss. Sounds pretty tragic right? 

What I love about these books is the level of imagination these writers have. Most books I find have just the right amount of smut in them to channel my inner pervert, and a wonderful story filled with unbelievable actions. I may have stated that wrong, I haven't eaten yet. If there was a reality where all the things I read about in these novels were to ever become true; can you imagine what stories you'd tell around the water cooler?

Right now on my Ipod and in my bookshelf are Gini Koch, Tina Folsom, Dana Marie Bell, Dakota Cassidy and Kresley Cole. I used to be and to a degree still am, a fan of Lisa Kleypas, Gaelen Foley, Megan Hart, and Victoria Dahl. But I've graduated into the supernatural. It might be a while before I come back. The constant here is that everyone has or finds love. I guess that is what my quest is for.

In my book, The New God, my main characters face several challenges. One the battle of good and evil (or the truth vs. the lies). Two the seduction of power. The balance of love an d friendship. And obsession. for some reason I like to give myself a huge mountain to climb when ever I get a mind to do something.

The conflict in my story is centered around three people with several supporting characters, that move the story around. One person Celine has magical powers that she hides for fear of being used for the wrong reasons. Malik: a young man in Celine's group that will do anything to be on the receiving end of her love. Ruddick: the team leader Celine's best friend and the man she loves from afar. The creepy part is that they are all aware of each other's struggles and continue on through out the book skirting these problems. I can not wait until I let their obsessions become a hindrance to the jobs they each perform. 

I am just s eager as you to see the level of compromise they create for the others in their team. With my character developments coming along you should see that these three become critical in the other's survival. I can't wait to finish this book.

Kresley Cole and Gini Koch both have new books out. I want them. Thanks to my eminent discharge I will have to wait until I find a place to land until I can order them. I can get them electronically but I want to actually hold the book. I want to feel the paper under my fingers every time I turn the page. I owe these two super awesome writers my respect and a place on my book shelf. With out them I'd never get up the nerve to think I could possibly make my book happen.

Plus they write a great sex scene, who doesn't like a great sex scene?

Scenery Change and The Twins

I decided to get cracking on fixing this page so that it would look less generic. Sadly I have no ideas how to do that. After randomly looking through my pictures stored all over my computer and two cameras, I found a few pictures that seemed not too personal. After all this is supposed to introduce me to you, not repel people.

In true Tia fashion I lazed around all day doing absolutely nothing to get this project off the ground. A habit I need to get out of doing.  I did however take some time to work on Nicky and Camille. I feel like it would take one good day to get them in a really good place where I can submit them for you all's approval.

So I have a question. Should I summit them to a site as a novella; or should I just leave them up here (in the DOG LOG) to be at the mercy of getting lost in the shuffle? Nicky and Camille are the first characters I've developed for my book. The New God is my baby. The conflict between the twins is only a part of all the drama happening in this book. But I feel that their conflict must be understood; even if I kill one of them off some time after the journey starts.

While I was Trolling the Blogs today

I found a blog about addiction today. In it, the definition of addiction was posted, http://notalone-saints.blogspot.com/2011/12/fighting-addictions.html I was relieved that someone was brave enough to talk about addictions. I know that I am not.

I attend AA meetings twice a week. I have been for about four months now. I like them, they are a constant reminder that I am not in my recovery alone. One day when I'm more solid on my feet I will talk about it. But now the subject is addiction. If you took the time to read the article, you'd notice there was a paragraph about substitute addictions. That's something I've been dealing with a lot lately.

Yesterday when I got to the train station I immediately went to the pastry shop located across the street. I have not gone in there in quite a while. But as I said yesterday also close to the train station is the grocery store that has a whole isle dedicated to alcohol. What I did was buy yummy desserts to satisfy the urge to drink. It was impulsive, you could count it as a win if i didn't drink, right? Not really because I still had the craving and I was moved to do something out of character AND with out much though to the consequences. In this case I was up all night with gas (ewwww).

So my question is this, and I already know the answer but I like to ask anyway. How do I curb the impulses and still process the stress? My brain will demand some kind of action. If I don't do something I will start seeing triggers and having cravings until I can either suppress the impulse or satisfy it.

How are you on deep breathing? 

And Later that day...

On my way back from TAPs class (Transitional Assistance Program) I get a call that has me floored.As I stand there shivering in the cold and rain under the train station I get the news. My Separation Papers are here. I must get them and start going home.

Panic sets in for a moment. I can feel the blood rushing to my hears. I think of nights in the future what I will go hungry. I think of the things that I didn't start, like this blog. Then I wish I had a little more time. I'm completely blindsided regardless of the four months of preparation that came before this moment. Somehow I really didn't fathom the moment I knew this dream would be over.

I will well and truly miss my home. I've lovingly named it my Fortress of Solitude. It's a safe haven where I can be myself and pretend that I'm okay. Here in my cluttered office, I brainstorm about the numerous characters waiting to be introduced. Here is where my future is to be planned. And the sad sad truth is that this place my haven will be gone.

Here is also where I plan my move to San Diego, Ca. I've been told multiple times to go some place that's not broke. At this moment I should examine this more closely.

California is broke right now. My goal once I leave the Navy completely is to use my GI Benefits and return to school. Community College and working Part Time from home is the ideal situation. I may or may not be able to collect unemployment for six months, depending on my discharge code. So technically I can live anywhere.

Why California? Well I've never lived there. Up to this point in my life I've lived up and down the east coast on the US and main land Japan. Why San Diego? Well there are 1300 AA meetings int that city alone. I will need all the help I can get. Why not go home? I chafe at the idea of moving back in with my mother. I'm not the person who left. If I try to force myself back into the person I used to be I'll never live up to my expectations.  There is something inherently wrong with a 32 year old female living at home with her mother. Especially me, I am a prideful person.

When I got to the station near my home I had this urge to go to the store and buy a bottle to celebrate. Why not? Says my alcoholic brain. It's just one little bottle, I can swallow that down and no one would know the difference. Yes, but I will, so I bypass the grocery store.

I'm proud of myself for a little bit. Then the reality returns and I wander through my home, only to come back to my office and pour myself into my work. For a little bit I can delve into the world I'm creating. When I expended my brain making fiction I realized that nothing has changed around me in the world except soon I'll be homeless.

Welcome to the Dog Blog

I am Atiya W. Townes, and this is my blog. I will be documenting my transition from sailor to civilian. Follow me as I go through the ups and downs of reentering the regular society. And fight a serious addiction to alcohol. No health care no extra pay, no free meals. Wish me luck…

December 8th Sometime around Lunch time

On the train this morning on the way into work, there is always a big crush between Keikyu Kurihama and Yokosuka Chuo station. This train goes all the way into Tokyo and out its poo shoot. I noticed that people chose who's bubble they invade. In the integration class they put every service member an their dependents through here n base, they make it sound like a chaotic mashing of people seriously determined to go from A to B regardless of who they suffocated in the process. 

Sounds pretty horrifying right, that's because it is. But this morning commute is nothing like that. Commuting here is the same as commuting in the states, only when people fall asleep they actually lean into you. The rocking to the train quietly sending you to La La Land much to the displeasure of the person you're drooling on. 

The crush is swaying to and fro with the trains movements and my leg is killing me.

Sure it hurts, but not in the respect that I damaged it. This pain is from something completely different yet and could have been prevented. As a gift to myself I got a large tattoo. One so large and colorful that it violates every policy regarding uniform and civilian attire. It spans the length of my calf from my knee to my ankle. It took three sessions, over 8 hours of mind jarring prickling along every nerve in my leg and due to the exchange rate of Yen to Dollars almost $1200. I'm waiting for someone to brush my leg accidentally so I can scream bloody murder with indignant pain.

I wish I could speak the language. Being an American in a country that will speak English as a courtesy to you is kind of pointless. If they always bend over to accommodate my handicap of their culture I'll never learn it. After a year and some time I've only comprehended a few sayings. Hello, Good Morning, Excuse me, I'm sorry, Where is the milk? None of these really express the inner workings of the intelligent mind, unless you really just want some milk.

My cousin Steve recommended the book Making out in Japanese. It was a book on how to pick up chicks using the language. Myself being a female of rather generous curves, brown skin and a confident  demeanor, has no need for this book. The African American female is invisible. Our Skin it too dark, we're too thick in our thighs and we are not submissive at all. Needlessly, I purchased the book off Amazon.com. When It came I called Steve to tell him it came and promptly placed the book on the book case never to be opened again.

As my time in Japan comes to an end here and I start packing for the inevitable. I realize how much of the culture I've completely ignored. I wonder if I'll ever have the chance to return here and actually look at how beautiful this place is? I wonder, if I will miss the little tremors , or the sound of the train and the ocean at once. Will I miss the designer dogs, and the cats with super short tails?